In the Shade of the Qur'an by Sayyid Qutb

The following section of the sūrah deals with the family, the nucleus and the foundation of Muslim society, to which Islam has extended notable attention and effort, regulating its essential aspects and ensuring its safety and protection against abuse and disintegration. Such attention is reflected in several Qur’ānic sūrahs and addresses all necessary elements to ensure the strong foundation of the family in Muslim society.

The Islamic social order is family-based by virtue of its being a divinely-ordained system for human society that takes full account of the essentials of human nature and its basic requirements.

Its ingredients originate with the very essence of life itself, as stated in the Qur’ān when it says: “Of all things We have created a pair [male and female], so that you may give thought.” (51: 49) “Limitless in His glory is He who has created pairs of whatever the earth produces, of your own kind, and of that which they [people] have no knowledge. “ (36: 36)

Human life began with one person, out of whom came a spouse, and then offspring from the pair of them, and so on. The result is this numerous multitude of human beings. The Qur’ān says: “Mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate, and from the two of them spread abroad so many men and women.” (4: 1) @Mankind! We have created you all out of a male and a female, and have made you into nations and tribes, so that you might come to know one another.” (49: 13)

The Qur’ān also highlights the special inherent attraction between the male and the female of the human species which is vital for setting up and supporting the family unit: “And of His signs is that He creates for you mates from your own selves, so that you may incline towards them, and He engenders between you love and compassion.” (30:

21) “They [your wives] are a garment and you are a garment to them.” (2: 187) “Your wives are your tilth; go, then, to your tilth as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls, and fear God and know that you shall meet Him.” (2: 223) “And God has made for you in your homes, a place of rest.’’ (16: 80)

As ever, Islam strongly emphasizes the harmony and compatibility between the philosophy and the spirit upon which the system of the natural universe is built and that upon which the human social order is based.

The family is the natural environment in which children can be raised and protected, and allowed to grow and develop, mentally and physically. Within the family, they receive love, kindness and care, and gain the values, ideals and behaviour patterns that will accompany them for the rest of their lives, and according to which they will know life, understand it and deal with it.

Humans have the longest childhood period of all species, extending to several years. It is the formative period during which children acquire all the essential skills that will enable them to chart their way through life and find a suitable role in society. It is made longer in order to ensure that adequate training, education and discipline are imparted to children to prepare them sufficiently for the future, especially in view of man’s heavy responsibility in this world. Furthermore, children need to be cared for and brought up by their own parents in a happy and stable environment.

Experience has shown that no other arrangement can adequately compensate for the role of the family as the proper setting for bringing up children. In fact, the alternatives have proved extremely harmful and damaging to both the individual and society. These alternatives, such as the children’s homes which emerged in Europe after the Second World War or as a result of social pressures created by the need for mothers to go out to work, have deprived children of the love and care that only mothers can provide within a secure family atmosphere. Thousands of children, brought up in children’s homes, grew up to develop numerous chronic and disturbing mental and psychological problems.

What is most amazing is that prevailing misconceptions lead people to consider the fact that women are today forced to seek work a symbol of progress and emancipation. It is in fact this system that is responsible for much of the deprivation and suffering witnessed in many countries. It sacrifices the psychological health of society’s most precious resources, young children, for nothing other than an increase in the family’s income or giving a young mother an income to live on. It is modern ignorance that refuses to look after young mothers to allow them to rear their children. This is indeed one of the most reprehensible failures of modern society.

Studies have shown that during the first two years of life, a child shows an instinctive need to have the exclusive care and attention of its parents, particularly its mother. After that stage, a child needs to be with its parents in a caring family atmosphere. Both of these needs are impossible to meet under any arrangement other than a stable family, without which children are bound to grow up with all kinds of mental and psychological deficiencies and ailments.

The social system of Islam as a religion of peace and harmony is based on the family, to which it accords proper and adequate attention. As we see in this sūrah, numerous Qur’ānic passages have been dedicated to emphasizing the importance of the family and to setting out the principles and foundations upon which it is based.

This section of the sūrah puts forward the principles of marriage and the rules governing essential aspects of divorce and its repercussions, desertion of wives by their husbands, alimony, breast- feeding, and the custody of children.

These principles and rules are not given in abstract legalistic language, but within a broader context, as part of God’s universal code of living and as a fundamental dimension of the Islamic faith. The sūrah emphasizes the strong link between these principles and God’s ultimate will and purpose.

One is immediately aware of the weight of the whole matter, and of how meticulously it is being dealt with. Every aspect of it is there to serve a greater objective in the overall scheme of things which is being guided and protected by God Almighty. It is the system He has perfected for implementation in human life. Hence, He gives His reward to those who implement it, and punishes those who discard or abuse it.

The sūrah makes a very detailed and rational presentation of these rules and principles, of which there are twelve altogether, intermittently prodding the human conscience to be aware of its responsibility and accountability. These rules cover a very wide area directly related to marriage and divorce, beginning with the prohibition of marriage with unbelievers, followed by the prohibition of sexual intercourse between married couples when the woman is in menstruation. Here we note how even this aspect is elevated from a purely physical attraction to a human function that serves important goals. Then follow rulings on faith, suspension of marital relations, a divorcee’s waiting period, repeated divorce and the refund of the dowry, the finalization of divorce, breast-feeding when divorce has taken place, a widow’s waiting period, hints of a marriage proposal during such a period, divorce before the consummation of marriage and free gifts to a widow or a divorcee. The final comment on all these rulings is: “Thus God makes clear to you His revelations that you may understand.” (Verse 242)

We note that in all these, the emphasis is on the worship of God. Thus, the Qur’ān relates man’s behaviour in all these situations to worship, which is, from the Islamic point of view, not confined to prayers and rituals. Thus, to further relate prayer to aspects of worship in practical life situations, the sūrah mentions, along with these rulings regulating marriage and divorce, a couple of rulings on prayer in times of fear and security. (Verses 238-239)

What is worthy of note is that while all these rulings spread an air of worship on all these affairs, no aspect of practical life, human nature or the needs of human life is overlooked. Islam enacts its laws for a community of human beings, who are neither angels nor flying aliens. As it elevates people to the pure atmosphere of worship through its rulings and directives, it does not ignore their human nature, prejudices, preferences, weaknesses, feelings, reactions and moments of clear thinking and pure feeling. It works on all these, directing them in a congenial atmosphere to a better human status.

Thus we see that Islam allows the suspension of marital relations but restricts it to a maximum of four months. It allows divorce, but regulates it fairly and tries hard to strengthen the foundations of the family in a balanced way that makes of ideal principles a daily practice. It is a smooth approach designed to facilitate things, for both man and woman, in the case when this great institution of the family meets with failure. God Almighty, who knows His creation better than they know themselves, does not wish the marriage bond to become a prison when the two parties are unsuited to each other. If their natures clash, then it is better for them to part and try again with different spouses. But before reaching this point, it would have made every effort to save the family. Furthermore, it provides every legal and compassionate guarantee to ensure that no harm comes to husband, wife, child or infant.

Compare the principles of the Islamic family system God has enacted for human life, and the balanced and peaceful society it produces, with what prevailed in human life prior to Islam, or what prevails today in non-Islamic societies everywhere, and you are bound to recognize the high standard of peace and dignity God wants for mankind. Women in particular will appreciate the extent of care God takes of them. I am absolutely certain that no woman could understand this manifestly caring approach without feeling the love of God fills her heart.

Do not marry women who associate partners with God unless they embrace the true faith. Any believing bondwoman is certainly better than an idolatress, even though the latter may well please you. And do not give your women in marriage to men who associate partners with God unless they embrace the true faith. Any believing bondman is certainly better than an idolater, even though the latter may well please you. These invite to the fire; whereas God invites to paradise and to the achievement of forgiveness by His leave. He makes plain His revelations to mankind so that they may bear them in mind. (Verse 221)

Marriage is the deepest and most enduring bond that can exist between two human beings. It calls for the widest possible range of mutual and intimate responses and, therefore, requires the most firm emotional commitment that can be made. For this to be achieved, a clear common objective must exist between the two parties, and what is better than religious faith to provide such affinity and unity of purpose. This profound influence of religion on human thought has often been ignored or overlooked and some societies have made the mistake of trying to replace religious faith with one social philosophy or another.

During the early days of Islam in Makkah, although the Muslims had succeeded in detaching themselves spiritually and ideologically from the rest of society, it was not possible for them to totally disengage themselves socially. This transformation required time and a measured pace of change. In Madinah, however, where Muslims were to acquire an independent social as well as religious identity, the new social order rapidly began to take shape, with these Qur’ānic verses prohibiting any new marriage of Muslims and idol worshippers. Existing marriages remained valid, however, until the sixth year of the Islamic calendar when verses 9 and 10 of Sūrah 60

were revealed, annulling such marriages once and for all.

From then on, marriages involving Muslims and pagans were prohibited, as such unions were considered devoid of spiritual meaning and non-deserving of God’s blessings or consecration, since the parties involved did not share the same beliefs and outlook on life. Having honoured mankind, God does not want marriage to be based on mere physical attraction. It is a bond that is closely related to the divine system for human life.

Hence, we have a clear, definitive injunction: “Do not marry women who associate partners with God unless they embrace the true faith.” (Verse 221) Were the unbelieving woman to embrace the faith, the barrier would be removed and the hearts of the two people concerned would fall into harmony and could be united in marriage as they are united in belief.

“Any believing bondwoman is certainly better than an idolatress, even though the latter may well please you.” (Verse 221) Such attraction would normally be physical, rather than spiritual, and therefore superficial. It is the attraction of the soul that really matters, even if the Muslim girl is a slave, because it would be infinitely more enduring and profound.

“And do not give your women in marriage to men who associate partners with God unless they embrace the true faith. Any believing bondman is certainly better than an idolater, even though the latter may well please you.” (Verse 221) The same rule applies to Muslim women who wish to marry unbelieving men, and for the same underlying reason:

“These invite to the fire; whereas God invites to paradise and to the achievement of forgiveness by His leave. He makes plain His revelations to mankind so that they may bear them in mind.” (Verse 221)

Believers and unbelievers move along two different paths: how can they meet together in a unit that is the foundation of life? The unbelievers take the route that leads to the fire, while those who believe in God take the way leading to His forgiveness and to heaven. The gap between the two is an ever-widening one.

The question arises here: do these people really call to the fire? Would anyone knowingly take himself or others towards the fire? What is highlighted here is the outcome, shown to be the advocated objective. Hence, God warns against such advocacy that leads to perdition and makes plain His revelations so that people may bear them in mind. Whoever fails to take heed can blame none other than himself.

It is noteworthy that Muslim men are not prohibited from marrying Christian or Jewish women, despite certain important differences in religious belief and practice.

This is because Muslims, Christians and Jews share a fundamental belief in God’s oneness.

As for marrying Christian women who believe in the doctrine of the Trinity, or in Jesus as the Lord, and Jewish women who believe Ezra was the son of God, Muslim jurists take various views. The question is whether such women should be considered idolaters, and therefore outlawed from marriage with Muslims, or whether they are covered by the general Qur’ānic ruling which says: “Today, all the good things of life have been made lawful to you. The food of those who were given revelations is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them. And the virtuous women from among the believers and the virtuous women from among those who were given revelations before you [are also lawful to you] when you give them their dower.” (5: 5) The majority of jurists are of the opinion that they are lawful for Muslims to marry, but I am more inclined to support the view that they are not. Al-Bukhārī quotes `Abdullāh ibn `Umar, a scholar Companion of the Prophet Muĥammad, as saying: “To my mind, there could be no greater polytheism for a woman than to believe that Jesus is the Lord.” Muslim women, however, are forbidden from marrying Jewish or Christian men.

The two cases are different, meriting different verdicts. Under Islamic law, children are called by their father’s names. It is the practice in all societies that, after marriage, a woman joins the household of her husband. If a Muslim man married a Christian or Jewish woman, she would move to the town or country where he lived, and join the rest of his family, and their children would take the father’s name and grow up in his religious and cultural environment. The situation would be reversed in the case of a Muslim woman marrying a Jewish or Christian man, where the children would be raised in a non-Muslim culture and most likely grow up to be non-Muslims.

There are, however, other practical considerations that would discourage the marriage of a Muslim man to a Christian or Jewish woman, which is otherwise permissible. Some of these were pointed out by the second Caliph, `Umar ibn al- Khaţţāb.

In his commentary on the Qur’ān, Ibn Kathīr quotes Ibn Jarīr al- Ţabarī as saying that despite unanimity over the marriage of Muslim men to Jewish or Christian women, `Umar ibn al-Khaţţāb was not in favour of it, lest Muslim men should turn away from marrying Muslim women.

He also reports that when Ĥudhayfah married a Jewess, `Umar wrote ordering him to divorce her. Ĥudhayfah wrote back, asking: “Is it because you claim that she is forbidden for me to marry that I should divorce her?” `Umar replied: “No, I do not, but I fear that people may turn away from marrying Muslim women.” More recent experiences provide further evidence that such marriages undermine the faith and Muslim identity of the new generations of Islam, especially in view of the fact that our societies today are only nominally Muslim.

The next point the sūrah deals with is a delicate and most private one, but here again marital relations are elevated above the physical contact, even when the discussion is concerned with the most physical aspect of married life, namely, sexual relations:

They ask you about menstruation. Say: “It is an unclean condition; so keep aloof from women during menstruation, and do not draw near to them until they are cleansed.

When they have cleansed themselves, you may go in unto them in the proper way, as God has bidden you. God loves those who turn to Him in repentance, and He loves those who keep themselves pure.’ Your wives are your tilth; go, then, to your tilth as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls. Fear God and know that you shall meet Him. Give the happy news to the believers. (Verses 222-223)

Within marriage, sex is not an end in itself, but a means to achieving much more profound goals in life, not least of which is reproduction and the continuation of human life. While it may satisfy the physical desire, sex during menstruation is not only unclean and carries health risks for both man and woman, but also fails to serve its fundamental objective. As a matter of fact, sex during menstruation is not very attractive to normal healthy people because it is not conducive to reproduction.

Sound human nature tends to avoid it. On the other hand, during cleanliness sex fulfils the natural desire and achieves a natural objective. Therefore, the question raised is given a clear answer of prohibition: “They ask you about menstruation. Say: ‘It is an unclean condition; so keep aloof from women during menstruation, and do not draw near to them until they are cleansed.’” (Verse 222)

However, that is not the end of the matter. Sexual behaviour outside the menstruation period must conform to certain manners and standards of decency and propriety: “When they have cleansed themselves, you may go in unto them in the proper way, as God has bidden you.” (Verse 222) Here the sūrah points out that sexual intercourse is allowed only at the place where fertilization may take place. The immediate physical pleasure is not the only purpose of sexual intercourse; its higher purpose is the continuity of human life. God points out what He has made lawful, and a Muslim seeks what is lawful. Moreover, God’s laws are meant to purify His servants. Hence the statement: “God loves those who turn to Him in repentance, and He loves those who keep themselves pure.” (Verse 222)

The sūrah then defines this aspect of the marital relationship in the most poignant and affectionate terms, saying: “Your wives are your tilth; go, then, to your tilth as you may desire, but first provide something for your souls. Fear God and know that you shall meet Him. Give the happy news to the believers.” (Verse 223)

There can hardly be a more accurate and eloquent description of the nature and purpose of this aspect of the relationship between husband and wife. It is by no means a complete description of the marital relationship. Elsewhere in the Qur’ān we find other similarly befitting and powerful descriptions, such as: “They [your wives] are a garment and you are a garment to them.” (2: 187) “And of His signs is that He creates for you mates from your own selves, so that you may incline towards them, and He engenders between you love and compassion.” (30: 21)

Each of these statements describes an aspect of this most profound and important of human relationships. The use of the Arabic word ĥarth, rendered here as ‘tilth’, with its connotations of tillage and production, is most fitting, in a context of fertility and procreation. Within this healthy, warm and conducive atmosphere, couples may seek each other’s comfort in any manner that will give them the greatest and most fulfilling pleasure.

Sexual fulfilment must, therefore, be sought as part of an overall objective which serves to please God Almighty, and is beneficial to the individuals concerned. They will be further rewarded by God for respecting His teachings and abiding by them.

We have here a good example of the generosity and kindness of Islam. It is a religion that does not deny man any of his natural tendencies or instincts, or pretend to achieve human purity by suppressing or destroying man’s basic physical needs.

Rather, Islam disciplines, guides and fosters these desires and needs in a manner that reinforces man’s humanity and invigorates his consciousness of, and relationship with, God. It seeks to blend physical and sensual tendencies with human and religious emotions, thus bringing together the transient pleasures and the immutable values of human life into one harmonious and congruent system that will render man worthy of being God’s vicegerent on earth. Being a system ordained by the Creator Himself, it will never clash with human nature or cause any human misery or unhappiness.

The sūrah then moves on to the subject of renouncing wives on oath and abstaining from sexual contact with them as a form of punishment. By way of introduction, it begins with talking about oaths in general, saying:

Do not allow your oaths in the name of God to become an obstacle to your being kind and God-fearing, or to promoting peace among people. God hears all and knows all.

God shall not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but He will take you to task for what your hearts have conceived in earnest. God is much-Forgiving, Forbearing. Those who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace. If they go back on their oaths, God is much- Forgiving, Merciful; and if they are resolved on divorce, [let them remember that] God hears all and knows all. (Verses 224-227)

The accepted interpretation of the opening part of this passage is that attributed to `Abdullāh ibn `Abbās who is quoted as saying: “Do not allow the fact that you have made an oath prevent you from doing what is good and righteous; rather, do what is right and atone for your oath.” According to Ibn Kathīr, a similar view is attributed to a host of leading scholars.

To support this interpretation, the Prophet’s statement, reported by Abū Hurayrah and related by Muslim, is often quoted. The Prophet said: “Whoever made an oath and later realized that it would be better to do something different, let him atone for his oath and do what is better.” Al-Bukhārī cites the statement reported by Abū Hurayrah that the Prophet said: “For someone to insist on honouring his oath concerning his relationship with his wife is, in God’s sight, far worse than to relent and pay the atonement God has prescribed for going back on an oath.” It may, therefore, be concluded that the main import of the statement is that oaths should not be an excuse for not doing what is best under the circumstances. One should not hesitate to revoke an oath one has taken if it becomes clear that revoking it is better from the Islamic point of view. The promotion of goodness and reconciliation takes precedence over one’s commitment to an oath.

A case in point is the vow made by Abū Bakr, the Prophet’s leading Companion, that he would never forgive one of his relatives, Misţaĥ, for taking part in the campaign to slander the Prophet’s wife, `Ā’ishah, who was also Abū Bakr’s daughter.

On that occasion a passage was revealed, declaring `Ā’ishah’s innocence of what was said against her. Then a verse follows in the same sūrah calling on believers to always choose the better course of action. This verse may be translated as follows:

“Let not those of you who have been graced with God’s favour and are well-off withhold their generosity from their relatives, or the needy, or those who leave their homes for the cause of God. Let them forgive and forebear. Do you not wish that God should forgive you your sins?

God is much-Forgiving, Merciful.” (24: 22) Abū Bakr relented and atoned for his oath, and reinstated his generous help to Misţaĥ.

God is even more gracious in offering this concession not only for inadvertent vows that need no atonement, but also for vows made in earnest and with full intention. The Prophet was reported to have often overlooked off-hand or casual vows made out of habit or in the heat of the moment. Premeditated vows must be revoked and atoned for, if keeping them results in, or leads to, something evil, harmful or inequitable. Some jurists, however, are of the opinion that making a false vow, knowing that it is false, can never be atoned for. Mālik says in his famous book, al-Muwaţţa’: “The best I have heard on this subject is that a casual vow is made in total good faith. If it is subsequently proven to be false, it requires no atonement. If a false vow is made deliberately, with the intention of appeasing someone, or for material gain, that is too grave to be atoned for.” The sūrah emphasizes that God knows all and hears all, and that He is forgiving and lenient, in order to establish in people’s minds the fact that these matters are ultimately referred to God Almighty for judgement, and to urge them to be conscious of Him and seek His pleasure and grace in all such matters.

Having established the general rule with respect to vows, the sūrah goes on to deal with the specific vows by husbands to abstain from sexual contact with their wives, either indefinitely or for a specified but long period of time: “Those who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace. If they go back on their oaths, God is much forgiving, merciful; and if they are resolved on divorce, [let them remember that] God hears all and knows all.’’ (Verses 226-227)

There are times in married life when spouses, for one reason or another, find themselves drawn away from one another. In such cases, some men swear not to sleep with their wives as a form of punishment, which can be humiliating for the wife and psychologically extremely hard on her. It is also a negation of the very essence of marriage and can be detrimental to the well-being and stability of the whole family.

This behaviour was not forbidden outright to begin with because it could be effective with vain, spiteful or quarrelsome women. It could, indeed, act as a safety valve for the relief of certain pressures that build up within a married relationship.

Nor was the advantage left completely on the man’s side, who could sometimes be at fault, intent on humiliating his wife or coercing her to submit to his terms or demands. He thus tries to deny her the chance to live happily with him, refusing, at the same time, to release her to seek happiness with someone else.

To balance all relevant factors and all practicalities, Islam has limited the duration of such estrangement to four months. This period seems to be the maximum an average normal woman can go before feeling the need for a man’s comfort.

`Umar ibn al-Khaţţāb, the second Caliph, was reported to be patrolling the streets of Madinah one night when he heard a woman reciting a few lines of poetry expressing her loneliness and desire for her husband who was away fighting with one of the Muslim armies. She complained of sleeplessness which she attributed to the fact that she had no one to frolic with, affirming that only her fear of God prevented her from seeking pleasure with someone else.

`Umar then enquired from his daughter, Ĥafşah, the Prophet’s wife, how long a woman could stand the absence of her husband. She replied: “Six months;” or she said four months, according to some reports. `Umar then declared that he would never let soldiers stay away from their wives for more than that period.

People’s temperament and will-power vary, but four months seem to be a reasonable test period, after which a husband should either resume normal marital relations with his wife or insist on his rejection of her. In this latter case the relationship must be dissolved by divorce and the wife given her freedom, whether by the husband or through the courts. This would enable both parties to start a new life with another spouse, thereby preserving the dignity and integrity of the wife and taking the pressure off the husband. Such a solution would be more just to both people and would safeguard the institution of marriage, which God has ordained for the enhancement and advancement of human life.

Having reached in the previous verse a point when divorce becomes a possibility, the sūrah goes on to outline in some detail the rules governing divorce and all matters relating to it, such as the waiting period and maintenance: “Divorced women shall wait, by themselves, for three monthly courses. It is unlawful for them to conceal what God might have created in their wombs, if they believe in God and the Last Day. During this period, their husbands are entitled to take them back, if they desire reconciliation. Women shall, in all fairness, enjoy rights similar to those exercised against them, although men have an advantage over them. God is Almighty, Wise.” (Verse 228)

The three monthly courses referred to here are variously understood as three menstrual periods, or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. The idea is that a divorced woman should not seek another marriage within that period.

The original Arabic expression uses a most delicate and sensitive language when advising divorced women to “wait, by themselves, for three monthly courses.” It conveys a mixed sense of eagerness and apprehension. It suggests that a divorced woman would have a strong desire to start a new marital relationship in order to reassure herself, and show others, that the failure of her marriage was not due to any weaknesses or shortcomings on her part, and that she remained attractive to men and capable of starting her life afresh. Being the one who had initiated the divorce, the husband would naturally have no such feelings.

Furthermore, the Qur’ān appeals to the woman’s faith in God and the Last Day, urging her not to conceal the fact if she were pregnant by the divorcing husband.

Reminding her of the Last Day, the time for punishment and reward, is especially pertinent here as it is meant to arouse her conscience and make her totally scrupulous over such a grave matter. After all, God knows the truth and there is no point in hiding it from Him.

The waiting period also acts as a period of grace during which the estranged couple can test their feelings and emotions. They may still have feelings for each other, and their mutual compassion might have been overshadowed by a temporary moment of heated emotions, or a misunderstanding, or personal pride. Once tempers are cooled and fury gives way to common sense, the couple might reconsider their situation and decide that it would be more sensible to forget their disagreement and resume their life together.

Divorce is the least preferable solution in God’s eyes; it should only be used as a last resort, when all else has failed. Elsewhere, the Qur’ān urges that divorce must be preceded by attempts at reconciliation and that it must not take place during the menstrual period. It is only possible in a period of cleanliness from menstruation during which no sexual intercourse has taken place between the divorcing couples.

This gives yet more time for reflection and reconsideration.

When a first divorce between a married couple is initiated, the waiting period acts as a test for their feelings, and if they discover during this time that reconciliation is possible, that option is available to them. As the sūrah says: “their husbands are entitled to take them back, if they desire reconciliation.” (Verse 228) The condition here is that, in coming back together again, the couple should be seriously seeking reconciliation.

The aim should never be to undermine the wife’s right to marry someone else or put any pressure on her to resume an unhappy relationship.

“Women shall, in all fairness, enjoy rights similar to those exercised against them...“ (Verse 228) The divorced woman is required to wait for a certain period before she can marry someone else, and is obliged to declare whether she is carrying a baby by her divorced husband. The husband is equally required to show good faith if he wishes to take her back, making sure that he intends to cause her no harm. He is further obliged, as we shall see later, to provide maintenance for his divorced wife during the waiting period.

The sūrah goes on to say: “... although men have an advantage over them.” (Verse 228)

This advantage, in my view, is in no way absolute but is contingent, within the present context, upon the fact that it is the man who initiates the divorce and would, therefore, have the prerogative to take his wife back, a decision that could not be left to her to take. This advantage, indeed a useful and proper one, is by no means universal, as some have erroneously concluded, but is simply dictated by the nature and the circumstances of the dispute.

The verse then concludes by asserting: “God is Almighty, Wise.” He lays down rules with force and authority, as well as prudence and compassion.

The next set of rules relates to the number of times divorce can take place and the wife’s full entitlement to her dowry, except in the case when a wife buys herself out of a marriage she feels she could not sustain for fear that she might commit an act of disobedience to God. Under such circumstances, a wife may forgo part of her dowry or make an agreed settlement in order to release herself when her husband is unwilling to divorce her.

The sūrah says: “Divorce may be [revoked] twice, whereupon a woman may either be retained in fairness or released with kindness. It is unlawful for you to take back from women anything of what you have given them [as dowry], unless they both [husband and wife] fear that they may not be able to keep within the bounds set by God. If you have cause to fear that they would not be able to keep within the bounds set by God, it shall be no offence for either of them if she gives up whatever she may in order to free herself These are the bounds set by God; do not, then, transgress them. Those who transgress the bounds set by God are wrongdoers indeed.” (Verse 229)

Couples are allowed to divorce and revoke their divorce twice before the condition stated in the next verse applies. Under this provision, remarriage with a three-times divorced wife cannot take place except in the case when she legally marries another husband who may subsequently, and in the normal course of events, divorce her. Should this take place normally, without it being pre-arranged, the woman and her first husband may be re-married, if they believe that by now they are able to make their marriage successful.

The background to this ruling is that in pre-Islamic Arabia no limitation was set on the number of times divorce could take place. Men would marry, divorce and remarry the same woman, virtually at will. When a man from Madinah had fallen out with his wife and grew to dislike her intensely, he vowed that he would neither keep her nor let her go; he would divorce her and then take her back just before her waiting period had elapsed. The woman complained to the Prophet Muĥammad, to whom this verse was then revealed.

This is another example of the prudent and propitious method the Qur’ān had adopted in providing the Muslims with the rulings and directions they needed to organize their community. This approach continued throughout the period of the revelation of the Qur’ān until all the main provisions of the Islamic code were fully laid down, enabling succeeding generations of Muslims to live by their guidance and principles.

Limiting the number of times divorce can be revoked prevents its abuse. The first time a man divorces his wife he would be entitled, without the need for any formalities, to take her back anytime during her waiting period. If this period elapses, the divorce would become final and a fresh marriage contract, with a fresh dowry, would have to be entered into. In both cases, the husband is allowed one additional divorce if matters again go wrong. The third time a divorce takes place, it is final and irrevocable. The only way a three-times divorced couple could resume a married relationship would be if the ex-wife married a different man who subsequently dies or, in the normal course of events, divorces her and she completes her waiting period without the marriage being re-instated.

The first divorce, as we said earlier, would put the whole relationship to the test, the second one would provide a second and final chance to reassess the situation before judging whether it is irreconcilable. If the marriage could be saved, well and good. A third divorce would, however, be evidence of a total breakdown of the relationship, and that the marriage was unworkable.

In any case, divorce should only be a last resort option to remedy a situation which could not otherwise be saved. Once divorce takes place twice, it would only be fair to either maintain the relationship with honour and dignity and resume as happy a life as possible, or to amicably bring it to an end without pain or acrimony. This would be the third divorce, after which both man and woman are free to start afresh with a different spouse. This is an extremely realistic approach, providing practical solutions. It neither denies the problem nor condemns it, nor attempts to re-create human nature to suit it, nor, indeed, does it ignore the problem altogether or try to sweep it under the carpet.

If the marriage proved unsustainable, the woman would be entitled to everything that had come to be hers during the marriage including the dowry. She would not have to reimburse the man for any upkeep or other costs he had incurred, unless it was her decision to end the marriage, for reasons of her own which had convinced her that life with that particular husband was no longer tolerable or would drive her to transgress the limits of decency, with herself or in her relationship with her husband. In this case the woman may ask for a divorce but would be obliged to compensate the man for the break-up of his marriage home, through no fault of his own, by giving him back the dowry he had paid her, or reimbursing him for all or some of the costs he had incurred while keeping her and enabling her to preserve her honour and dignity.

These realistic and scrupulous measures take account of all possible situations and feelings, ensuring that a wife will never have to accept an unhappy marriage under duress, and that a husband does not forgo any of his rights if his marriage breaks up through no fault of his own.

The merits of this approach may be illustrated by an event during the Prophet Muĥammad’s lifetime. Mālik reports in al-Muwaţţa’ that one morning, at dawn, the Prophet found Ĥabībah bint Sahl, wife of Thābit ibn Qays, waiting at his door. He asked her what she wanted and she replied: “I can no longer live with Thābit ibn Qays.” The Prophet sent for her husband and told him what Ĥabībah had said. Ĥabībah then turned to the Prophet and said: “I still have all that he had given me,” upon which the Prophet said to Thābit: “Take it back”; which he did and Ĥabībah went back to her people.

The version related by al-Bukhārī mentions that Ĥabībah said to the Prophet: “I take nothing against Thābit’s religious or moral behaviour, but as a Muslim I cannot live with him and be ungrateful.” The Prophet asked her: “Would you give him back his orchard?” (The orchard being the dowry Thābit had given her.) She agreed and the Prophet said to Thābit: “Take back the orchard and divorce her once.” Another version related by al-Ţabarī mentions that Abū Jarīr had asked `Ikrimah how the khul` had been instituted. He said that Ibn `Abbās used to say that the first case of khula` was when `Abdullāh ibn Ubayy’s sister went to the Prophet and said:

“Nothing could ever make me put my head next to his! I lifted my curtain and saw him with a group of men. He was the darkest, shortest and the least handsome of them all.” Her husband then said: “But I have given her the best of what I have: my orchard. If she gives it back to me, I shall let her go.” She agreed and offered to give him more, if he so wished. The Prophet annulled their marriage.

These incidents show how the Prophet took into consideration the psychological and emotional state of the wife, and settled the matter fairly and forthrightly, in full appreciation of human nature and consideration of family relations and personal feelings.

To put these rulings within their proper religious context, the verse ends with a powerful reminder, saying: “These are the bounds set by God; do not, then, transgress them. Those who transgress the bounds set by God are wrongdoers indeed.” (Verse 229)

We pause here to reflect on a subtle difference in the use of two Qur’ānic expressions denoting a similar meaning in two different contexts.

Verse 187 of this sūrah may be given in translation: “It is lawful for you to be intimate with your wives during the night preceding the fast. They are as a garment for you, as you are for them. God is aware that you have been deceiving yourselves in this respect, and He has turned to you in His mercy and pardoned you. So, you may now lie with them and seek what God has ordained for you. Eat and drink until you can see the white streak of dawn against the blackness of the night. Then resume the fast till nightfall. Do not lie with your wives when you are in retreat in the mosques. These are the bounds set by God, so do not come near there.

Thus God makes clear His revelations to people, that they may remain God fearing. “ We note here that the verse closes with the words: “These are the bounds set by God, so do not come near them”, while the present verse uses the expression: “These are the bounds set by God; do not, then, transgress them.” While one warns against drawing near to the act of wrongdoing itself, the other warns against transgression.

In the first instance, the warning was against being attracted or tempted by certain desires and it was appropriate to talk of resisting those temptations and keeping away from them. In the second instance, the subject matter involves conflict and acrimonious disputes, and the danger here is of either party overreaching or exceeding their limits, so it is more pertinent to advise restraint and., steering away from transgression.

This is a good example of the remarkably precise diction of the Qur’ān.

The sūrah continues, giving more rulings relating to divorce: “Should he divorce her [a third time], she shall not thereafter be lawful for him to remarry until she has wedded another husband. If the latter’ then divorces her it shall be no offence for either of the two if they return to one another, if they feel that they will be able to keep within the bounds set by God Such are the bounds set by God He makes them plain for people who have knowledge.” (Verse 230)

If a third divorce takes place in a marriage, it could only be a sign of serious and irreversible deterioration within that relationship. The best solution in this case would be permanent separation, and for each partner to seek happiness with someone else. However, if any or all of the three divorces were pronounced by the man lightly, or out of spite, or in the heat of the moment, here again, a drastic measure must be taken to prevent men abusing their divorce privilege. Such s an unhappy relationship should not be perpetuated, since the man has no appreciation for it, nor is keen to protect it.

The question may here be put, therefore, as to why the woman should have to suffer the consequences of a rash utterance by her husband, thereby jeopardizing her life, peace and security? The answer is that the ruling has to be realistic. Let us look at this more closely and ask: What would be the alternative solution? Should the man be forced to live with a woman in a marriage he has little or no respect for? Should he be told that his repeated divorcing of his wife is not enforceable and that his wife is his responsibility, whether he likes it or not? This, in fact, would be far more humiliating for the wife, and degrading to the marriage itself, neither of which Islam would condone. A more proper censure of the man’s behaviour would be to deprive him of the right to his wife and make him in the first and second divorces liable to pay a new dowry, under a new marriage contract, after he had failed to take her back before the passing of the waiting period. The third time a man resorts to divorce, the separation shall be deemed final and the woman has to marry someone else and be legally divorced by him before being able to return to her former husband. The first husband would stand to forfeit the dowry he had paid as well as all the costs he had incurred during the marriage. He will also, in any case, be liable for alimony payments. This is a practical and workable manner in which to approach this delicate and emotionally-charged situation.

If, after the third divorce, the woman marries someone else and this marriage is then terminated, in the normal course of events, by divorce or by the husband’s death, she may be reunited with the first husband as long as “they feel that they will be able to keep within the bounds set by God.” (Verse 230) This indicates very clearly that the matter is not left to the couple to decide as they please, but it is regulated by terms and conditions set out by God for a proper social order that conforms to His will. These terms and conditions are fully expounded in the Qur’ān for all who are capable of learning and understanding.

Having detailed the divorce procedure, the sūrah goes on to give directions to divorcing couples, urging them to show kindness, compassion and consideration during the post-divorce period, regardless of how the rift came about:

When you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting-term, either retain them with fairness or let them go with fairness. Do not retain them out of malice in order to hurt them. He who does so wrongs his own soul. Do not take God revelations in a frivolous manner. Remember the blessings God h bestowed upon you, and all the revelation and wisdom He ha bestowed upon you from on high in order to admonish you. Fear God and know well that He has full knowledge of everything. And when you have divorced women and they have reached the end o their waiting-term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner. This is an admonition for everyone of you who believes in God and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and purer. God knows, whereas you do not know. (Verses 231-232)

Married life must be built on a spirit of mutual kindness, fairness and compassion, and this spirit must be evident even if the relationship has to be severed. Malice and ill-will must not be allowed to cloud this relationship. But, this can only be attained if the parties concerned are guided by faith in God and are conscious of their accountability to Him in the hereafter. They ought to acknowledge God’s grace and blessings in allowing them to marry and enabling them to seek happiness elsewhere when the marriage fails, and providing both parties with necessary and fair guarantees for compensation and redress. These principles of kindness and fairness must be observed under all circumstances.

In pre-Islamic society, women faced a great deal of oppression and abuse. Female infanticide was widespread in Arabia, and those who survived would suffer cruelty and degradation throughout their lives. Women were bought and sold like animals; mares and she-camels were sometimes considered more precious! They would suffer when they were married; and they received grossly unfair treatment when divorced.

Divorced women were not allowed to remarry without their former husband’s permission, nor were they allowed by their families to return to their husbands if they wished to be reconciled. Generally, women were looked down upon in Arabia, as indeed in other societies.

When Islam came, it brought fresh principles and values that recognized women and afforded them a status comparable to that of men. It elevated marriage to a religious duty, preserved women’s human dignity, and established for them specific rights when they were married and when they were divorced. These principles and values were a gift from God to both men and women, guaranteeing for them fundamental human, social and legal rights they had neither demanded nor even thought possible.

Thus, as the end of the waiting period approaches, a husband should either take his wife back into the marriage, with no ill-feelings and with a sincere intention to treat her kindly and sympathetically; or allow the waiting period to elapse and the divorce to take effect without causing any harm or injustice to the divorced wife or demanding any compensation from her.

This would ensure that a man would not be able to abuse his prerogative to divorce at the expense of his estranged wife, as with the case of the man from Madinah referred to earlier, and as seems to have been the custom among Arabian men before Islam.

To emphasize this further and purge men’s hearts of evil and selfishness, the Qur’ān appeals to the noblest of feelings and to man’s sense of shame and honour and fear of God: “Do not retain them out of malice in order to hurt them. He who does so wrongs his own soul. Do not take God’s revelations in a frivolous manner. Remember the blessings God has bestowed upon you, and all the revelation and wisdom He has bestowed upon you from on high in order to admonish you. Fear God and know well that He has full knowledge of everything.” (Verse 231)

Keeping a wife against her will, or mistreating her, would be akin to harming oneself, because she is a fellow human being, with dignity and feelings. A man would be doing himself injustice, too, by allowing himself to act in defiance of God’s guidance and teachings.

When it comes to marital relations and divorce, Islamic teachings are straightforward and clear, aimed at building social life on complete honesty and integrity. Men who abuse divorce, which God has permitted a last resort solution, in order to malign or ill-treat their estranged wives, are violating God’s will and subverting His instructions. Regrettably, such blatant abuse is quite widespread in many Muslim communities today, where men tend to do all they can to evade the proper conduct taught by Islam.

The Qur’ānic words evoke man’s sense of integrity and gratitude to God. They remind that first generation of Muslims of the very special grace and favour God bestowed upon them through the revelation of Qur’ānic guidance, which had elevated every aspect of their daily life.

One of the most evident favours God had extended to the Arabs was to transform them from obscure, fragmented, uncouth and backward hordes, with no influence or role to play in the world. They had nothing, whether material or spiritual, to provide for themselves, let alone to offer to humanity. A small minority of them lived in riches, while the overwhelming majority lived in dire poverty. They also suffered mental and spiritual deprivation, with an absurd set of beliefs and a primitive concept of life. Their interests were little more than looting raids, vengeance killings, drinking, gambling and similarly trivial enjoyments.

Islam transformed them into a great, united, mature and pioneering nation with a profound religious faith. Under Islam they could offer to the world a faith that provided a superior concept of existence. That same nation went on to lead the world and influence its development and progress in all fields. They became a power to reckon with, whereas previously they were subordinated by neighbouring empires or an ignored community with little consequence. Islam also gave them power and wealth.

Above all else, Islam gave the Muslim nation peace: peace within the minds of individual Muslims, and peace within the home and within society as a whole. It gave Muslims a greatly enhanced sense of pride, decency and nobility, which in turn gave them cultural maturity and self-confidence that made their civilization stand out in the history of mankind.

Muslims of that generation did not require much persuasion that they were a favoured nation because they were aware of their pre- Islamic past and the vast leap they had taken with Islam. They knew and appreciated fully the value of the Qur’ān and its wisdom for the well-being and stability of their community and, in particular, of family life which formed the cornerstone of their society.

Finally, the Qur’ān touches Muslims’ hearts with a warning that they should fear God who “has full knowledge of everything.” This warning evokes a sense of fear and caution, in addition to the sense of gratitude and integrity already revived, in order to use every means of focusing their attention on the right course of action and behaviour.

The sūrah directs Muslims not to stand in the way of an estranged wife, whose waiting period has elapsed, if she wants to remarry her divorced husband and they have come to an amicable and honourable agreement to do so: “And when you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting-term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner. This is an admonition for everyone of you who believes in God and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and purer. God knows, whereas you do not know.” (Verse 232)

Al-Tirmidhī reported that Ma`qil ibn Yasār gave his sister in marriage to a Muslim man who later divorced her and she remained divorced until her waiting period had elapsed. After some time they both felt they would like to marry again and the man went to Ma`qil, asking to marry her. Ma`qil was furious and reprimanded the man for divorcing her in the first place, and swore that he would never marry her if he were to live for ever. Al-Tirmidhī adds that, nevertheless, it was God’s will that the couple should have the chance to be reunited. Thus, this verse was revealed. On hearing it, Ma`qil said: “I hear and I obey.” He then called the man and said to him:

“You have my blessings to marry her.” This highly compassionate divine gesture towards people’s feelings and emotions is evidence of God’s boundless mercy towards mankind. The verse as a whole aims to mitigate the trauma of divorce and to educate Muslims in organizing their social affairs realistically and with compassion.

The verse closes with more exhortations, calling upon the Muslims to be conscious of their accountability to God and to look beyond the objectives of this transient life.

They should realize that in ordaining these rules God, who knows all, wishes to elevate their aspirations and bring their society more happiness and harmony. Thus, every action is linked to God and serves as an act of worship aimed at cleansing the individual and all society from immediate materialistic considerations.

The following ruling concerns the fostering and breast-feeding of infants after divorce. When a marriage breaks up, certain ties, commitments and relationships continue to exist between the divorced couple, foremost among which is the well- being and upbringing of children. The sūrah covers all possible eventualities:

Mothers may breast-feed their children for two whole years; [that is] for those who wish to complete the suckling. The father of the child is responsible to provide in a fair manner for their sustenance and clothing. No human being shall be burdened with more than he is well able to bear. Neither shall a mother be allowed to cause her child to suffer, nor shall a father cause suffering to his child. The same shall apply to the father’s heir. If, by mutual consent and after due consultation, the parents choose to wean the child, they will incur no sin thereby. Nor shall it be any offence on your part if you engage wet nurses for your children, provided that you hand over what you agreed to pay, in a fair manner. Fear God, and know that God sees all that you do.

(Verse 233)

A divorced mother continues to have a God-given duty towards her infant, no matter how acrimonious the separation from her husband. God’s mercy and compassion dictate that under no circumstances should the children be made to suffer, especially during the early years of life when they are still being breast-fed.

Modern scientific research has shown that the mother’s milk is essential for the first two years of life for the healthy physical and psychological development of the child.

Mankind needed to know this important fact and hence God, out of His infinite mercy, revealed it in the Qur’ān more than fourteen centuries ago.

In return, the mother has secured the right that the father must provide for her maintenance with fairness and good-will, as partners in their responsibility towards the infant and within their respective means.

“No human being shall be burdened with more than he is well able to bear” (Verse 233)

The child should not be used by either parent as a pretext to put pressure on the other, and: “Neither shall a mother be allowed to cause her child to suffer, nor shall a father cause suffering to his child” (Verse 233)

Neither parent should resort to emotional blackmail or coercion to extort concessions from the other. Were the child’s father to die: “The same shall apply to the father’s heir.” (Verse 233) The father’s heir takes over the responsibility to provide for the suckling mother in a fair manner. This is a case where gains and liabilities are shared within the family: the heir receives his share of inheritance and discharges the liabilities of the deceased. It is essential that this right of the mother, and that of her child, is respected and fulfilled in all situations.

“If by mutual consent and after due consultation, the parents choose to wean the child, they will incur no sin thereby.” (Verse 233) If, for health or other reasons, the parents, or the mother and the father’s heir, jointly decide that it would be in the child’s interest to take him off his mother’s milk before he has reached two years of age, they shall have the right to do so, provided they have had sufficient consultation over the matter, and act in the child’s interest.

Similarly, if the father chooses to have the baby suckled by someone other than the natural mother, and can show the distinct advantage of such action, he may do so provided that he ensures that the suckling mother receives her wages: “Nor shall it be any offence on your part if you engage wet nurses for your children, provided that you hand over what you agreed to pay, in a fair manner.” (Verse 233) This ensures that the wet nurse would take good care of the child.

The verse closes with yet further exhortation to all concerned to fear God and take account of His presence and overall authority. “Fear God, and know that God sees all that you do.” (Verse 233) This, above all else, is a firm guarantee of proper and fair conduct by all.

The sūrah then turns to introduce the rules governing widows; their waiting period and whether and when they can entertain new proposals for marriage:

Those of you who die leaving wives behind, their wives shall wait, by themselves, for four months and ten days. When they have reached the end of their waiting-term, you shall incur no sin in whatever they may do with themselves in a lawful manner. God is aware of all that you do. You will incur no sin if you give a hint of a marriage offer to [widowed] women or keep such an intention to yourselves. God knows that you will entertain such intentions concerning them. Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner. Furthermore, do not resolve on actually making the marriage tie before the prescribed term [of waiting] has run its course.

Know well that God knows what is in your minds, so have fear of Him; and know that God is much- Forgiving, Forbearing. (Verses 234-235)

In pre-Islamic Arabia, widows suffered a great deal of injustice at the hands of their own families, their in-laws and society in general. When a husband died, his widow would be confined to a drab part of the home and made to wear her shabbiest clothes and refrain from using any perfume or incense for a whole year. At the end of that period, she would be required to perform a series of degrading and meaningless rituals which included casting animal faeces into the air and riding an ass or a sheep through the town or village. Islam did away with all those worthless customs and alleviated the suffering of widows who, in addition to the grief of losing their husbands, had to endure the humiliation and persecution of their families and were deprived of the opportunity to resume a happy and decent family life.

Islam set a waiting period of four months and ten days, which is slightly longer than that for a divorced wife, unless a woman is pregnant, in which case her waiting period extends until she has delivered. The purpose of the waiting period is to determine whether the woman is pregnant and to avoid hurting the feelings of the family of her deceased husband by leaving his home immediately after his death.

During this period, the widow wears modest clothes, and does not wear the sort of make-up that encourages suitors to propose marriage to her. Once the waiting period is over, no one, from either her family or that of her deceased husband, has the right to dictate to her what to do with her life. She is totally free to decide for herself within the established traditions and teachings of Islam. She is free to wear all the adornments permitted for Muslim women, to receive marriage proposals, and to give her consent to marrying anyone she chooses, unimpeded by any antiquated or unreasonable traditions or customs. She has only God to please and fear. For: “God is aware of all that you do.” As for men who wish to marry a widow before the end of her waiting period, the sūrah gives a most perceptive ruling, based on the observance of principles of decency and propriety, ethical and social values, and the feelings and sensibilities of all concerned while taking account of the overall needs and interests of the community as a whole: “You will incur no sin if give a hint of a marriage offer to [widowed] women or keep such an intention to yourselves.” (Verse 235)

During the waiting period, the memory of the deceased husband is still fresh in his widow’s mind. She may be overwhelmed by the grief she shares with his family, and anxious to find out whether she is carrying his child. If she already knows that she is pregnant, she is bound to be under stress, and would have to wait until she gives birth before she may marry again. All these considerations make any entertainment of a new marriage rather premature, or even inappropriate and hurtful.

Nevertheless, this should not prevent prospective suitors from expressing an interest in marrying a widow once her waiting period had elapsed, short of directly and officially proposing to her.

Al-Bukhārī relates that Ibn `Abbās, the Prophet’s cousin and learned Companion, is reported to have suggested that statements such as: “I wish to get married,” or, “I need to have a woman around me,” or “I wish I had a good wife,” are appropriate.

The sūrah also makes it clear that God is always aware of any unexpressed feelings or intentions by some men in wishing to marry a certain widow. It casts no aspersions on such feelings, which it implicitly recognizes as natural and normal, but urges that no practical steps be taken, or secretive arrangements agreed, before the waiting period is over. Thus, Islam regulates and tames human natural desires rather than condemning or suppressing them. “God knows that you will entertain such intentions concerning them. Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner.” (Verse 235)

Arrangements or agreements of marriage made in secret during the waiting period are seen as contrary to decent social propriety and impertinent towards God, who has designated that period as a positive division in a widow’s life.

None of this should prevent a decent contact with the woman, provided the subject of conversation falls within the decent religious and social norms as dictated by Islam. No intention of marriage is expressed directly lest the woman’s feelings are hurt at such a delicate time in her predicament, as pointed out earlier.

“Do not, however, plight your troth in secret; but speak only in a decent manner.

Furthermore, do not resolve on actually making the marriage tie before the prescribed term [of waiting] has run its course.” (Verse 235) Once again we note the delicate touches with which the Qur’ān approaches sensitive subjects. It does not warn against making marriage contracts before the end of the waiting period; it warns against making a commitment, plighting one’s troth.

The choice of words at the end of the verse is significant: “Know well that God knows what is in your minds, so have fear of Him; and know that God is much-Forgiving, Forbearing.” (Verse 235) These closing words refer the whole matter to God’s grace and generosity, appealing directly to Muslims’ respect and fear of God Almighty in conducting their personal and social affairs. This fear and respect are, in themselves, the ultimate guarantee of God’s forgiveness and tolerance towards those who earnestly and sincerely strive to observe and implement His directives and rulings.

The sūrah then tackles a different, but frequently met, situation, in which a woman is divorced before the consummation of the marriage. It outlines the respective rights and obligations of both spouses.

You will incur no sin if you divorce women before having touched them or settled a dowry for them. Provide for them, the rich according to his means and the straitened according to his means. Such a provision, in an equitable manner, is an obligation binding on the righteous. If you divorce them before having touched them but after having settled a dowry for them, then give them half of that which you have settled, unless they forgo it or he in whose hand is the marriage tie forgoes it. To forgo what is due to you is closer to being righteous. Do not forget to act benevolently to one another. God sees all that you do. (Verses 236-237)

Two situations are outlined here. The first involves a woman who is divorced before her marriage had been consummated or a dowry agreed. In this case, the husband is obliged to recompense her according to his means. Such a gesture would have an immense psychological impact on the woman, who would be devastated at having her marriage dissolved before it has even begun. It would go a long way towards dissipating any bitterness or acrimony left in her heart. The unfulfilled marriage would be understood as an unfortunate mistake rather than a reflection on her suitability or integrity. The aim would be to diffuse the tension and conduct the severance of the relationship amicably, in a spirit of fairness and with no hard feelings. Meanwhile, the size of the gift offered in this case is left to the man’s discretion and conscience, within his financial ability: “the rich according to his means and the straitened according to his means. Such a provision, in an equitable manner, is an obligation binding on the righteous.” (Verse 236)

The second possibility arises if a dowry has been agreed and settled, in which case half of it must, in principle, be paid unless the wife, or her guardian if she is young, choose, without any pressure, to forgo such a payment. Forgoing such a claim is the attitude of one who has the power of the law on her side but she declines to touch the money of a man with whom she no longer has any relation.

Nevertheless, the Qur’ān goes on to urge more fear of God, tolerance, magnanimity and benevolence on the part of all involved. It exhorts: “To forgo what is due to you is closer to being righteous. Do not forget to act benevolently to one another. God sees all that you do.” (Verse 237)

Having evoked an atmosphere of submission to, and consciousness of, God, the sūrah interjects with a short passage on prayer, the main act of worship in Islam, before it deals with other aspects of divorce. The inference here, in the inimitable style of the Qur’ān, is that obedience to God in matters of marriage and divorce is an act of worship no less reverent or commendable than prayer itself. This is in total harmony with the comprehensive Islamic concept of worship (`ibādah) which encompasses all human activity and is seen as the central purpose of human existence, expressed in the Qur’ān: “I have not created the jinns and human beings to any end other than that they may worship Me.” (51: 56)

The sūrah says: “Attend regularly to your prayers, particularly the middle prayer, and stand up before God in devout obedience. If you are in fear, pray walking or riding. When you are again secure, remember God, since it is He who has taught you what you did not know.” (Verses 238-239)

This is a clear instruction to Muslims to attend regularly to the five daily prayers, offering them in the proper manner, in the correct form, and at their appointed times.

The middle Prayer is generally taken to refer to `Aşr, or mid-afternoon prayer, on the basis of reports that on the day of the Battle of the Moat (627 CE), the Prophet Muĥammad was heard cursing the enemy forces for “causing us to miss the middle prayer of `Aşr. May God engulf their hearts and homes in fire.” The reason for a specific mention of the `Aşr prayer is perhaps because it falls during that part of the afternoon when people take a short rest and may easily miss it.

The sūrah also emphasizes total devotion during prayers, because in the early days, Muslims used to, if they felt the need, talk and break away from the prayer to attend to urgent business. When this verse was revealed, it became clear that nothing should distract one from prayer and that worshippers must stand before God in a state of complete submission and devotion.

The sūrah points out that even in times of danger and war, Muslims must not neglect the obligatory prayers. They may perform them in the most convenient way possible under the circumstances. They are permitted to perform the prayer in whatever posture they find themselves in, walking or riding, without having to face the qiblah, the direction of the Ka`bah, or follow the prescribed procedure. This is not to be confused with Şalāt al-khawf or ‘prayer while in a state of fear’, referred to in Sūrah 4, which relates specifically to the performance of prayer in the battlefield. If fighting actually breaks out, or an enemy attack is imminent, the ruling given in the present sūrah will apply.

The great importance God attaches to prayer is very clear. It is seen as a source of inspiration and moral support, and should not be neglected no matter how dangerous or threatening the situation may be. In times of war, it is another weapon a Muslim may use in facing the enemy. It is a supply line from God Almighty at a most crucial moment.

Islam is a religion founded upon the worship of God, in various forms and in all circumstances. Prayer is the foremost manifestation of man’s submission to God.

Through the worship of God, man attains the highest level of purity, gains divine support and direction, and achieves total peace of mind. Hence, prayer must never be neglected, even if one is in the line of fire.

When safety and security prevail, prayer must be observed in the normal way, as taught to Muslims by God Almighty in the Qur’ān and through the sunnah of the Prophet Muĥammad. The sūrah stresses this fact: “When you are again secure, remember God, since it is He who has taught you what you did not know.” (Verse 239) Indeed, human beings would not have known anything if it were not for the fact that God teaches them in every minute of their lives.

This interjection, with its fine spiritual touch, serves as a fitting interlude before the remaining rules on the rights of widows and on divorce are given:

Those of you who die leaving their wives behind, shall bequeath to their wives provisions for one year without their being obliged to leave [their deceased husbands’ homes]. Should they leave home [of their own accord], you shall incur no sin for what they may do with themselves in a lawful manner. God is Almighty, Wise. Divorced women shall have a provision according to what is fair. This is an obligation on the God-fearing. Thus God makes clear to you His revelations that you may understand.

(Verses 240-242)

The first of these three verses establishes the right of a widow to a bequest by her deceased husband, allowing her to stay in his home with a provision for her maintenance. She does not need to leave his home or marry again during that period if that is what she chooses to do. This does not exclude her right to leave the house after four months and ten days, the waiting period, as laid down earlier. While the waiting period is an obligation upon the widow, her staying in her late husband’s home for a year is her right. Some jurists are of the opinion that this ruling is overruled by the one given in Verse 234. Such a conclusion is not justified since the two rulings refer to two different matters: one establishes a widow’s right while the other states an obligation binding upon her.

The sūrah goes on to state that: “Should they leave home [of their own accord], you shall incur no sin for what they may do with themselves in a lawful manner.” (Verse 240) The use of the plural ‘you’ in this context is significant because it indicates a collective communal responsibility for the welfare of widowed women, and a need for all members of the community to respect and observe Islamic rules and norms.

The concluding phrase, “God is Almighty, Wise,” draws attention to God’s power and wisdom in laying down such rules, with a hint of warning that they should not be taken lightly.

The next verse institutes a divorcee’s right to provisions, in general, and links the observance of this to righteousness and God-fearing.

Some scholars are of the view that the right given in this verse was superseded by those outlined earlier, which is again difficult to justify because the ‘provisions’ referred to here are not the same as maintenance. The context and the spirit of these Qur’ānic passages suggest that such provisions are a right of all divorced women irrespective of whether the marriage was consummated or a dowry agreed and settled. These provisions are designed to mitigate the bitterness and acrimony normally associated with divorce, and to offset some of the sadness and disappointment that follow the separation. The sūrah again evokes the couple’s fear of God as the best guarantee of fairness and generosity.

The final verse in this section asserts: “God makes clear to you His revelations that you may understand.” (Verse 242) God lays down rules clearly, fairly and effectively, inviting people to reflect on their value and purpose and to appreciate God’s blessings and mercy, implicit in them. They should not lose sight of the fact that they are aimed to bring about conciliation and accord. They are straightforward, easy and beneficial to put into practice, but rigorous and decisive at the, same time.

There is a great need for mankind to take heed of the divinely- inspired social order of Islam and put it into effect in their daily life, which will surely bring peace, stability and harmony into their hearts and minds, and into their lives as a whole.