Loudly Lamenting For The Dead Or When Afflicted With An Adversity
In Sahih Muslim, Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) reported, "The Prophet (pbuh) said that, “He who slaps his cheeks, rips his pockets, or calls out the cries of the pre-Islamic period of ignorance is not of us.” 1
Abu Musa AI-Ash'ari (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that, "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) cleared himself from the woman who loudly lament, the one who shaves or plucks out her hair when being afflicted with an adversity, and the one who rips off her clothes.” 2
All these types are prohibited according to the consensus of the scholars. It is also prohibited to dishevel one's hair, slap the cheeks, scratch the face and to wail and burst into loud lamenting.
Umm 'Attiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, "Among things upon which we gave the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) the oath of allegiance was to refrain from loud lamenting.” 3
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him} said, "Two qualities in people are unbelief attacking another's ancestry, and wailing over the dead.” 4
On the authority of Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) has cursed the woman who loudly wails for the dead and whoever listens to her.”5
On the authority of Abu Burda who said, "Once Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari was sick and consequently he fell unconscious in the lap of a woman from his family. She, in turn, cried loudly and he could not stop her. When he became conscious, he said, "I cleared myself from what the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) cleared himself i.e., the woman who loudly laments, the one who shaves or plucks out her hair when being afflicted with an adversity and the one who rips her clothes.” 6
On the authority of An-Nu'man Ibn Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, "Once' Abdullah Ibn Rawaha fell unconscious. Consequently, his sister started wailing over him saying, 'O so and so.' When he became conscious, he said, 'You never said something, unless it was said to me are you so and so.” 1
It is also reported in the two Sahihs that, "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "In his grave, the dead is tortured with what he was lamenting over?” 2
On the authority of Abu Musa (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, "Never has a person died and his people wail upon him saying, 'O our master, O our sustainer, or the so and so, and two angels not be entrusted with his torture saying, weren't you so and so?”3
The Prophet (pbuh) said, "If the woman who loudly laments the dead does not repent before the time of her death, she will be raised on the Day of Judgment wearing a garment from a tar and a coat of mail from scabies.”4
The Prophet (pbuh) also said, "It is forbidden for me to make two foolish sounds, the one when being granted with a blessing; amusement, playing and the flute of Satan, and the other when being afflicted with an adversity; scratching one's face, ripping one's pockets and crying.” 5
AI-Hasan said, "Two sounds are cursed, the sound when being granted with a blessing and the sound when being afflicted with an adversity.” 6
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) also said, "The people who loudly wail will be made into two rows in the Hell-Fire and will bark at the people of the fire as dogs do.” 7
AI-Awza'i said, once 'Umar Thn AI-Khattab heard some people weeping, consequently, he entered upon them along with others and started beating them until he reached the woman who was wailing. He also beat her to such an extent that her veil (Hijab) fell down. He commented saying, 'Beat her! She is wailing and there is no sanctity for such people. She does not weep out of being affected with your adversity, rather she sheds tears to take your money. This only harms your dead in their graves and the ones who are still alive in their homes. She also prohibits committing to patience which is the command of Allah and encourages despair which Allah forbids." Loudly lamenting means to raise one's voice with wailing and mentioning the good traits of the dead. It is also said that it means that to weep over the dead by mentioning his good traits.
The scholars said it is not allowed to raise your voice when weeping. As for weeping over the dead without wailing or loud lamenting, it is not forbidden. In Sahih of Al-Bukhari and Muslim, Ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that, "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him)
visited Sa'd Ibn 'Ubadah along with `Abdul-Rahman Ibn 'Awf, Sa'd Ibn Abi Waqas and 'Abdullah Ibn Mus'ud (may Allah be pleased with them all).
Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) wept. Upon seeing the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) in this state, the people also wept. The Prophet said, "Don't you hear?! Allah does not torment the people because of the tears of the eye or the grief of the heart.
Rather, He torments or bestows His mercy upon the people because of the returns of "this" and he pointed to his tongue.” 1
In the two Sahihs, it is also reported on the authority of Usarnah Ibn Zayd that "The son of the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to Messenger when he was dying. Thereupon, the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) were soaked with tears. Sa'd said, “O Messenger of Allah what is this?' The Prophet said, "This is a mercy which is created by Allah within the hearts of His servants and Allah will only shower His mercy upon the merciful ones (amongst His servants)” 2
In Sahih AI-Bukhari, it is reported on the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that, "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) entered upon his son, Ibrahim, while he was dying. Thereupon the eyes of the Prophet (pbuh) started to shed tears. 'Abdul-Rahman Ibn 'Awf said to him, 'You too, O Messenger of Allah!' The Prophet commented, 'O Ibn Awf, it is a mercy' and repeated it twice and said, 'The eyes shed tears, the heart is grieved, but we do not say anything except what pleases Allah and for your death we are very sad, O Ibrahim.”3
As for the Sahih hadith which states, "The dead will be tortured with the weeping of his family over him.” 4
It is not to be taken literally, it is interpreted differently by various scholars. The most evident meaning is, but Allah knows best, that the weeping may be for some other reasons such as the deceased person may have advised his family to do so prior to his death.
The followers of Shafi'i said, "The weeping over the dead is allowed before and after his death. But it is preferable for it to be done before the death according to the hadith which states, "Let them (weep), but when his soul is really taken, do not allow anyone (to weep)." Shafi'i and his followers stated that weeping after the death is only reprehensible but it is not forbidden. They interpreted the previous hadith as follows, "It is reprehensible to let them weep (after the death)." The woman who loudly laments the dead will be tormented in such way because she, in so doing, orders the people to be despondent and impatient and this is in contradiction to what Allah and his Messenger has ordered. Allah the Almighty has said, {O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer: for God is with those who patiently persevere and say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah: "They are dead" Nay, they are living, though ye perceive (it) not. Be sure We shall test you with some thing of fear and hunger, some loss in good, lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong, and to Him is Our return.} (AI-Baqarah: 153-156)
'Ata' reported Ibn' Abbas to have said, "This means that Allah will support such people and will never disappoint them. Allah the Almighty said, {Be sure we shall test you.} i.e., Allah will treat such kind of people the same way He treated the afflicted people. That is because Allah knows the returns and consequences of all things and He is in no need for the afflicted to know the result but He just deals with them in such way.
So, whoever is patient, he will be rewarded for his patience and whoever is impatient, will be deprived of such reward then Allah said,{ with something of fear and hunger.} Ibn 'Abbas said, {fear}means fear from the enemy and hunger means famine and drought. 4 Some loss in goods p, means loss and decrease in property and death of animals. {Lives} means loss of lives through death, killing, disease and old age. {And the fruit} means decrease in needs of people and the fruits will be imperfect. Then Allah the Almighty ended the Ayah with giving good news to those who are patient to indicate that whoever was afflicted with these calamities and was patient, he is promised by Allah to be rewarded, Allah the Almighty said, "But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere." Then Allah described them saying, {who say when afflicted with calamity.} i.e., they were afflicted with what previously mentioned. To be afflicted with good thing is not affliction. { They say, to Allah we belong.} i.e., we are the servants of Allah and He can dispose with us with whatever He will. {And to Him is our return.} This will be through death. The return to Allah means that He will be the only Sovereign. That is because some people govern in this world, but as soon as they are deprived of it, they know the whole matter will be in the Hands of Allah, the Almighty.
On the authority of `Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said, "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "Whatever the calamity a believer is afflicted with, he will be compensated for it, even the sting of the thorn.” 1
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "Whoever is afflicted with a calamity, let him remember the calamity of my death for it is the greatest of all.” 2
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "The son of a person died and Allah the Almighty said to the angels, 'Did you take the soul of the son of my servant.'They will reply, 'Yes.' Allah will say, 'Did you take the fruit of his heart.' They will reply, 'Yes.’ Allah will say, 'What did my servant say.' They will say, 'He praised You and sought the reward from You.' Allah will say 'Build a house for my servant in Paradise and call it the house of praise.” 1
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) also said, "The Almighty Allah said in a hadith Qudsi, "The reward of my believing servant, if I take the soul of his bosom friend in this world and he was patient and sought the reward from Me, will be nothing except Paradise.” 2
The Prophet (pbuh) also said, "Among those things which bring happiness to the son of Adam is to be satisfied with what Allah has destined for him,' and among things which bring him wretchedness is to be dissatisfied with Allah's blessing.” 3
On the authority of 'Umar Ibn AI-Khattab who said, "When the angel of death (peace be upon him)
takes the soul of the believers, he will stand at the door of his house. There will be among his family the one who slaps her face, the one who dispersed her hair and the one who wails and bursts in loud lamenting.
Thereupon the angel of death will say, "For what you display your anxiety and fear? By Allah, I did not decrease the span of life of anyone of you, nor decrease the provision of anyone of you, nor did I oppress anyone of you. So, if you complain and anxiety was upon me be sure that, I only was ordered to do so. And if they were upon your dead, by Allah he has nothing to do but to surrender. And if they were upon your Lord, by Allah you disbelieved in him. Surely I will return to you many times until I took you all. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) commented, "By whom in whose hands my soul is, if they saw his place and heard his words, they would be surprised and would weep upon themselves."
Consolation
On the authority of' Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said, "The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever offers the consolation to the afflicted person, he will be rewarded with the same.” 4
On the authority of Abu Barzah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, "The Prophet (pbuh) said to Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her), "Whoever offers consolation to the person who is bereaved of his/her child, he will be clothed with Burd (certain kind of garment) in Paradise.” 5
On the authority of 'Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn AI-As (may Allah be pleased with both of them) who said, "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to his daughter Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her), "For what reason did you go out from your house. 0 Fatimah?" she said, "I went to the people of this house and asked Allah to shower his mercy upon their dead and I offered them consolation.” 1
On the authority of Amr Ibn Hizam who said, "The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Never does a believer offer his afflicted brother consolation and Allah cloth him out of his Honour on the Day of Judgment.”2
Consolation means that to bring patience and mention to the deceased's kin what can relieve their sadness and lighten their calamity. It is recommended that it includes commanding the good and forbidding the evil. It also comes under the saying of Allah, {Help ye one another in righteousness and piety but help ye not one another in sin and rancor! } (AI-Maidah, 2)
This is the most indicative verse concerning the matter of consolation.
Consolation is preferable before and after burying the dead. The followers of Ash-Shafi'i said, its time starts from the time when the soul is taken and lasts for three days after burying the dead. Some scholars said, consolation is not preferable after three days of dying, for consolation appeases the heart of the afflicted person and this mostly takes place within three days and therefore there is no need to renew his sadness. This same position was held by the majority of the scholars. Abu Al-Abbass said, there is no wrong to offer consolation after three days since the event lasts forever. An-Nawawi (may Allah bestow mercy upon him) said, "What is agreed upon is that it should not be offered after three days except in two cases: when the one who offers the consolation is absent or the afflicted person was absent as well. And they are expected to return after three days. Offering consolation after burying the dead is better than doing it before burying, for before burying, the people of the dead are engaged with preparing him and alienation is intensified after burying. This may be done if no anxiety appeared on the part of the people of the dead.
Otherwise, consolation should be offered to bring quietness to them.
It is also reprehensible to gather in a particular place to receive the consolation. This means that the people of the dead should not gather in a certain place and the people go to offer them consolation. The formula of consolation is well known. The best of what can be said in this respect is what is reported in the two Sahihs on the authority of Usamah Ibn Zayed (may Allah be pleased with him) who said that, "One of the daughters of the Prophet (pbuh) sent to him and told him that one of her children is dying. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to the man, "Return to her and tell her that, to Allah is what He has taken and to him is what He has given and to everything is an appointed term with Allah. So, order her to be patient and seek the reward from Allah.” 3
1 Reported by A1-Bukhari.
2 Reported by AJ-Bukhari and Muslim.
3 Reported by A1-Bukhari.
4 Reported by Muslim.
5 Reported by Abu Dawud 6 Reported by An-Nasa'i.
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1 Reported by AJ-Bukhari.
2 Reported by AI-Bukhari and Muslim.
3 Reported by At-Tirmidhi.
4 Reported by Muslim.
5 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
6 Reported by Ibn Hajar Al-Haithami in Majma' Al-Zawa'id.
7 Reported by Ibn Hajar Al-Haithami in Majma' Al-Zawa'id.
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1 Reported by AI-Bukhari.
2 Reported by AI-Bukhari.
3 Reported by AI-Bukhari.
4 Reported by Al-Bukhari.
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1 Reported by A1-Bukhari.
2 Reported by Ad-Darimi.
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1 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
2 Reported by AI-Bukhari.
3 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
4 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
5 Reported by At-Tirmidhi.
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1 Reported by Abu Dawud.
2 Reported by Ibn Majah.
3 Reported before.
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1 Reported by An-Nasa'i.
2 Reported by AI-Bukhari.
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1 Reported by A1-Bukhari.
2 Reported by A1-Bukhari.
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1 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
2 Reported by At- Tirmidhi.
3 Reported Muslim.
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1 Reported by A1-Mundhiri .
2 Reported by Muslim.
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1 Reported by AI-Hakim.
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