Rayuwar Aure - Tsarin Zamantakewa a Musulunci | Quran Course

Rayuwar Aure - Tsarin Zamantakewa a Musulunci | Quran Course

Har ila yau Manzon Allah (tsira da aminci su tabbata a gare shi) ya umarci maza da su kyautata wa matansu. Muslim ya ruwaito a cikin Sahihinsa daga Jabir cewa Manzon Allah ﷺ ya ce a cikin hudubarsa a Hijjatul-wada'i (Hajjin ban kwana): "Ku ji tsoron Allah game da mata! Lallai ku kun karbe su ne da amanar Allah, kuma an halatta muku saduwa da su ta hanyar kalmar Allah. Su ma suna da hakki a kanku, kada su bari wani ya zauna a kan gadonku wanda ba ku so. Amma idan suka aikata haka, kuna iya hukunta su, amma ba da tsanani ba. Hakkinsu a kanku shi ne ku ba su abinci da tufafi cikin yanayi mai kyau." An kuma ruwaito daga Annabi ﷺ cewa ya ce: "Mafi alherin ku shi ne wanda ya fi kyautatawa matansa, ni kuma ni ne mafi alherin ku ga matana." Haka kuma an ruwaito daga gare shi ﷺ cewa yana da kusanci sosai da matansa, yana wasa da su, yana da laushin hali a gare su, yana kuma nishadantar da su har ya kai ga yana tsere da 'A'isha (Allah ya yarda da ita), uwar muminai, kuma ta haka yake samun soyayyarta. Ta ce: "Manzon Allah ﷺ ya yi tsere da ni, na kuwa ci shi, wannan kafin na yi kiba. Daga baya na sake yin tsere da shi a lokacin da na yi kiba, sai ya ci ni, ya ce: 'Wannan (ya zama diyya) saboda wancan (lokacin da ki ka ci ni).'" Annabi ﷺ, bayan sallar Isha'i, yakan dan yi hira da matansa na wani lokaci kafin ya kwanta, don haka ya haifar da yanayi na abota. Ibn Majah ya ruwaito cewa Annabi ﷺ ya ce: "Mafi alherin ku su ne wadanda suka fi kyautatawa matansu." Duk wannan yana nuna cewa ya kamata maza su kasance da kyakkyawar alaka da matansu. Tunda al'amura na iya faruwa a rayuwar aure wadanda za su iya dagula tsari, Allah ya ba da shugabancin gida ga miji a kan mata, wato an sanya shi mai kula da ita. Ya ce (subhanahu wa ta'ala):

Also the Messenger (pbuh) has ordered men to treat their women well. It has been reported by Muslim in his Sahih on the authority of Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said in his speech at the Hijjat-ul-wida' (farewell Hajj): “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily, you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by the word of Allah. You too have rights over them, they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” And it has been narrated from the Prophet (pbuh) that He said: “The best amongst you is the one who is best to his wives and I am the best of you to my wives.” And it has been narrated from Him (pbuh) that He had a close relationship with his wives, He would play with them, be mild-mannered toward them and to have fun with them to the extent that He used to race with 'A'isha (ra), the mother of the believers, and with that win her love. She said: “Allah's Messenger (pbuh) raced me and I beat Him, that was before I gained weight. Later I raced Him when I had put on some weight, so He beat me and said: “This was (in return) for that (time when you had beaten me)”. The Prophet (pbuh) after praying 'Isha would spend a short part of the evening chatting with his wives before sleeping thereby creating a friendly atmosphere. Ibn Maja reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said: “The best amongst you are the ones who are best to their wives.” All of this indicates that husbands should have good relations with their wives. Since things may happen in married life that may disturb the order, Allah has granted the leadership of the home to the husband over the wife, i.e. He has been made a guardian over her. He (swt) said:

“Kuma (mata) suna da haƙƙoƙi (a kan mazajensu) kamar yadda (mazajen) suke da haƙƙoƙi a kansu bisa ga abin da ya dace, amma maza suna da wani matsayi (na nauyi) a kansu.” [Al-Baqarah: 228] Haka kuma (SWT) ya umarci mace da ta yi biyayya ga mijinta. Shi ma ﷺ ya ce: “Idan mace ta kwana nesa da gadon mijinta, to, mala'iku suna la'anta ta har sai ta dawo.” Kuma ﷺ ya ce wa wata mace: ‘Kina da miji?’ Ta amsa: ‘Eh.’ Ya ce: ‘To, shi ne Aljannarki da Wutarki.’ Bukhari ya ruwaito cewa ﷺ ya ce: ‘Ba a halatta wa mace ta yi azumi ba tare da izinin mijinta ba, alhali yana nan, ko ta shigar da wani gidansa ba tare da izininsa ba, kuma duk abin da ta kashe daga dukiyarsa (a hanyoyin sadaka) ba tare da izininsa ba, to, rabin lada zai tafi ga shi (mijin).’” Ibn Batta ya ruwaito a cikin littafinsa Ahkam an-Nisa (Littafin dokoki game da mata) daga Anas cewa wani mutum ya yi tafiya, ya hana matarsa fita. Mahaifinta ya yi rashin lafiya, sai ta nemi izinin Manzon Allah ﷺ domin ta ziyarci mahaifinta. Manzon Allah ﷺ ya ce: “Ki ji tsoron Allah, kada ki saɓa wa mijinki.” Sai mahaifinta ya rasu. Sai ta sake neman izinin Manzon Allah ﷺ domin ta halarci jana'izarsa. Ya ce mata: “Ki ji tsoron Allah, kada ki saɓa wa mijinki.” Sai Allah ya saukar wa Annabi ﷺ: “Na gafarta mata zunubanta saboda biyayyarta ga mijinta.” (Hadisin Kudusi) Shari'a ta ba wa mutum haƙƙin hana matarsa fita daga gida, ko tana so ta ziyarci iyayenta ko ta yi wata buƙata, ko kuma don nishaɗi. Don haka ba a halatta mata ta fita ba tare da izininsa ba. Duk da haka, bai kamata miji ya hana matarsa ziyartar iyayenta da kai musu ziyara ba, domin hakan zai haifar da rarrabuwa a tsakaninsu, kuma ya sa matar ta saɓa masa. Allah (SWT) ya umarce su da su zauna tare cikin girmamawa. Hana mace ziyartar iyayenta ba zama ne da ake rayuwa cikin mutunci ba. Haka kuma bai kamata miji ya hana ta zuwa Masallaci ba, domin an ruwaito daga Annabi ﷺ cewa ya ce: "Kada ku hana bayin Allah mata zuwa Masallatan Allah." Idan matar ta yi tawaye ga mijinta, Allah ya ba shi damar ladabtar da matarsa. Ya ce (SWT):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them in a fitting manner, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them”. [Al- Baqarah: 228] He (swt) also ordered the woman to obey her husband. He (pbuh) said: “If a woman spends the night away from her husband’s bed then the Angels curse her until she returns.” And He (pbuh) said to a woman: ‘Do you have a husband?’ She replied: ‘Yes.’ He said: ‘Then He is your Paradise (Jannah) and Hellfire (Nar).’ Bukhari reported that the Prophet (pbuh) said: ‘It is not allowed for a woman to fast without the permission of her husband whilst He is present, nor admit someone to his house without his permission, and whatever she spends of his wealth (on charitable purposes) without his permission, half the reward will go to Him.’” Ibn Batta has reported in his Ahkam an-Nisa (The book of rules pertaining to women) on the authority of Anas that a man had gone on a journey and forbade his wife from going out. Her father became ill so she asked permission from Allah's Messenger to visit her father. The Messenger of Allah said: “Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband”. Her father then died. So she asked permission from Allah's Messenger (pbuh) to attend his Janaza (funeral prayer). He told her: “Fear Allah and do not disobey your husband”. So Allah revealed to the Prophet (pbuh): “I have forgiven her sins due to her obedience to her husband.” (Hadith Qudsi) The Shar’a has given the man the right to prevent his wife from leaving the house whether she wishes to call on or visit her parents or for a thing she needs or just for recreation. It is not therefore allowed for her to go out without his permission. However, the husband should not prevent his wife to call on and visit her parents because that will create a rift between them and lead his wife to disobey Him. Allah (swt) has ordered them to live together honourably. Preventing her from visiting her parents is not living honourably. Nor should the husband prevent her from going to the Mosque, Since it has been narrated from the Prophet (pbuh) that He said: “Do not prevent slave girls of Allah (women) from going to the Masajid of Allah”. If the wife rebels against her husband, Allah has given Him the right to discipline his wife. He (swt) said:

“Amma idan sun koma biyayya, to kada ku nemi wata hanya a kansu” [An-Nisa: 34]. A maimakon haka, ya kasance abokin zamanta ne, mai tausayi a lokacin da yake neman wani abu daga gare ta, har ta kai idan yana son ta, zai zaɓi yanayi da hali mafi dacewa da ita. ﷺ ya ce: “Kada ku kusanci matanku da dare har sai wadda gashinta ya watse ta tsefe shi, kuma wadda mijinta ya yi nesa da ita ta tsaftace al’aurarta (ta cire gashin da ke cikinta).” Jagorancin miji bisa mata da shugabancinsa a gida ba yana nufin ya zama mai mulki ko mai iko a cikinsa ba, har babu wata matsala da za a yi masa adawa da ita. A’a, shugabancin miji a gida yana nufin kula da al’amuranta da tafiyar da shi, babu wani mulki ko umarni a cikinsa. Saboda haka, mace tana da hakkin ta amsa wa mijinta, ta yi muhawara da shi, kuma ta soki abin da ya faɗa, domin su abokan zama ne, ba mai umarni da wanda ake umarta ba, ko mai mulki da wanda ake mulka ba. Akasin haka, su abokan zama biyu ne, wanda ɗayansu yana da jagoranci ta fuskar tafiyar da gida da kula da al’amuransa. A cikin gidansa, Manzon Allah ﷺ haka ma ya kasance abokin zamansa ga matansa, ba mai mulki mai iko a kansu ba, duk da cewa shi shugaban ƙasa ne kuma Annabi ne. ’Umar b. al-Khaɗɗab ya ce a cikin wani Hadisi da ya ruwaito: “Na rantse da Allah, a zamanin Jahiliyya mun yi watsi da mata, har Allah Maɗaukaki ya saukar game da su abin da ya saukar, ya kuma ba su rabonsu.” Ya ce: “Ya zamo cewa ina tunani a kan wani al’amari sai matata ta ce: ‘Ina fatan da ka yi kaza da kaza.’ Na ce mata: ‘Ba ruwanki da shi, kuma kada ki shiga cikin abin da nake niyyar yi.’ Sai ta ce mini: ‘Abin mamaki ne, kai ɗan Khaɗɗab, ba ka son wani ya amsa maka, alhali kuwa ’yarka tana amsa wa Manzon Allah ﷺ har ya shafe yini cikin ɓacin rai.’” Umar ya ce: "Na ɗauki rigata, sannan na fita daga gidana har na ziyarci Hafsa, na ce mata: 'Ya 'yata, (na ji) cewa kina amsa wa Manzon Allah ﷺ har ya shafe yini cikin damuwa.' Hafsa ta ce: 'Na rantse da Allah, mu muna amsa masa.' Na ce: 'Ki yi hankali, ya 'yata, ina gargaɗe ki game da azabar Allah da fushin Manzonsa ﷺ. Kada wadda kyanta, da ƙaunar Manzon Allah ﷺ gare ta, suka burge ta ta ruɗe ki' (yana nufin A'isha). Sannan na ('Umar) je wajen Umm Salama saboda dangantakata da ita, na yi magana da ita. Umm Salama ta ce mini: 'Umar ɗan al-Khattab, abin mamaki ne yadda kake shiga kowane al'amari har ka kai ga shiga tsakanin Manzon Allah ﷺ da matansa.' Wannan ya dame ni sosai har na hana kaina faɗar abin da nake son faɗa, sai na fita daga ɗakinta." Muslim ya ruwaito a cikin Sahihinsa cewa Abu Bakr ya zo ya nemi izinin ganin Manzon Allah ﷺ. An ba Abu Bakr izini, ya shiga. Sannan Umar ya zo ya nemi izini, aka ba shi, ya tarar da Manzon Allah ﷺ zaune cikin baƙin ciki da shiru, matansa kewaye da shi. Ya ce: "Ina so in faɗi wani abu da zai sa Manzon Allah ﷺ dariya, sai na ce: 'Ya Manzon Allah, da ma ka ga 'yar Kharija yadda ta nemi mini nafaqa, sai na tashi na buga mata mari a wuyanta.' Manzon Allah ﷺ ya yi dariya ya ce: 'Suna kewaye da ni kamar yadda kake gani, suna neman nafaqa.'" Daga wannan a bayyane yake cewa ma'anar jagorancin namiji a kan mace shi ne umarni ya kasance a hannunsa, amma ya zama umarni da ake yi cikin zumunci, ba cikin mulki da iko ba. Don haka ita tana iya amsa masa, tana kuma tattaunawa da shi.

“But if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance)”. [An- Nisa: 34] Rather He should be a friend to her, and kind when He requests something of her, to the extent if He desires her He should choose the best situation and condition suitable for her. He (pbuh) said: “Do not approach wives at night until the one with dishevelled hair has it combed and the one whose husband has been away has cleaned her private parts (of hair).” Guardianship of the husband over the wife and his leadership of the house does not mean being domineering in it or being its ruler such that no issue is opposed. Rather the leadership of the husband over the house is the looking after its affairs and administering it and there is no domination or commanding in it. Therefore, the woman has the right to answer back to her husband and debate with Him and criticise what He says because they are companions and not a commander and commanded, or a ruler and a ruled. On the contrary they are two companions, one of whom possesses leadership in terms of running the house and looking after its affairs. In his house, the Messenger of Allah , was likewise a companion to his wives, not a domineering ruler over them, in spite of his being the leader of a state and in spite of being a Prophet. 'Umar b. al-Khattab said in a Hadith reported by Him: “By Allah, during the days of Ignorance we ignored women until Allah the Exalted revealed about them what He has revealed, and gave them a share.” He said: “It so happened that I was thinking about some matter when my wife said: 'I wish that you had done so and so'. I said to her: “It does not concern you, and you should not interfere in what I intend to do.” She said to me: 'How strange is it that you, son of Khattab, do not like anyone to answer you back, whereas your daughter answers back Allah's Messenger (pbuh) until He spends the day in vexation'. Umar said: “I took hold of my cloak, then came out of my house until I visited Hafsa and said to her: Oh daughter, (I heard) that you answer back to Allah's Messenger (pbuh) until He spends the day in vexation.” Hafsa said: 'By Allah, we do answer Him back'. I said: “Be careful, my daughter, I warn you against the punishment of Allah and the wrath of his Messenger (pbuh). You may not be misled by the one whose beauty, and the love of Allah's Messenger (pbuh) for her have fascinated her(meaning A'isha). I ('Umar) then visited Umm Salama because of my relationship with her and I talked to her. Umm Salama said to me: 'Umar b. al-Khattab, how strange it is that you interfere in every matter to the extent that you intend to interfere between Allah's Messenger (pbuh) and his wives'. This perturbed me so much that I refrained from saying what I had to say, so I came out of her apartment.”. Muslim narrates in his Sahih that Abu Bakr came and sought permission to see Allah's Messenger (pbuh). It was granted to Abu Bakr and He entered. Then came Umar and He sought permission and it was granted to Him and He found Allah's Messenger (pbuh) sitting sad and silent with his wives around Him. He (Umar) said: “I wanted to say something which would make the Holy Prophet (pbuh) laugh, so I said: ‘Oh Messenger of Allah, I wish you had seen the daughter of Kharijah when she asked me for maintenance (Nafaqah), and I got up and slapped her on her neck.’ The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) laughed and said: “They are around me as you see, asking for maintenance (Nafaqah)” From this it becomes clear that the meaning of the man's guardianship over the woman is that the command should rest with Him, but it should be a command borne out of companionship and not domination and control. Thus she can answer back to Him and discuss with Him.

A takaice dai, duk aikin da ake buƙatar a yi a cikin gida, mace ce za ta yi shi, ko wane irin aiki ne. Duk aikin da ake buƙatar a yi a waje da gida, namiji ne zai yi shi. Wannan ya faru ne saboda abin da aka riwaito daga Annabi ﷺ a labarin 'Ali da Fatimah (Allah ya yarda da su): Ya sanya wa 'yarsa Fatimah aikin yi a cikin gida, kuma ya sanya wa 'Ali duk abin da ke waje na aiki. Manzon Allah ﷺ yana umurtar matansa su yi masa hidima. Ya ce: "Ya 'A'isha, kawo mana ruwa. Ya 'A'isha, kawo mana abinci mu ci. Ya 'A'isha, kawo mini reza ki zare ta a kan dutse." An riwaito cewa Fatimah ta zo wajen Annabi ﷺ tana korafi game da wahalar da take sha wajen juya injin niƙa, sannan ta tambaye shi ko za ta iya samun bawa da zai cece ta daga wannan aiki. Duk wannan yana nuna cewa yi wa miji hidima a cikin gida da kula da gida na ɗaya daga cikin wajibai na matar da dole ne ta aiwatar. Sai dai aiwatar da irin wannan aiki yana da alaƙa da iyawarta. Idan aikin ya yi yawa har zai jefa ta cikin wahala, to wajibi ne miji ya samar mata da bawa da zai taimaka wajen kammala aikin, kuma tana da haƙƙin ta nemi hakan. Amma idan aikin ba shi da yawa, kuma tana iya yin sa, to miji ba shi da wajibci ya samar da bawa. A wannan yanayi, ana buƙatar ta yi aikin da kanta, kamar yadda shaida take a abin da Manzon Allah ﷺ ya ɗora wa 'yarsa Fatimah na kula da gida.

In summation, any work that needs to be carried out inside the house the woman must undertake, whatever the type of work. Any work that needs to be carried out outside the house the man must undertake. This is due to what has been narrated from the Prophet in the story of 'Ali and Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with them): He imposed on his daughter Fatimah the duty of working in the house and imposed on 'Ali whatever was outside the house in terms of work. Allah's Messenger used to order his wives to serve Him. He said: “O ‘A’isha, bring us some water. Oh ‘A’isha bring us food to eat. O ‘A’isha bring me the razor and sharpen it against a stone.” It has been reported that Fatimah came to the Prophet complaining to Him about her difficulty in working a handmill, and she asked if she could get a servant to save her from that. All of this indicates that serving the husband in the house and looking after the house is one of the obligations of the wife which must be undertaken by her. However, the performance of such work is subject to her ability. If there is a lot of work to be done which would put her in hardship, then it is incumbent on the husband to provide her a servant that will enable the work to get done, and she has the right to demand this. However, If the work is not overwhelming and she is capable of doing it, then the husband is not obliged to provide a servant. In this case she is required to undertake the work by herself as evidenced by what the Messenger of Allah imposed on his daughter Fatimah in tending to the house.