Mutane sun kasance cikin rarrabuwar kai sosai game da batun haɗuwa da mutane da kebewa. Wasu sun ɗauki ra'ayin cewa ya kamata mutum ya kasance koyaushe yana haɗuwa da mutane, wasu kuma sun ɗauki ra'ayin cewa ya kamata mutum ya kasance koyaushe yana kebe kansa daga mutane, kuma kowa ya gamsu da ra'ayinsa.

People have always been greatly divided over the issue of mixing and seclusion. So, some went with the opinion that one should always mix with the people, and some went with the opinion that one should always seclude himself from the people, and everyone is satisfied with his point of view.

Kuma Shaikh al-Islam Ibn Taimiyya (Allah ya yi masa rahama) ya yi magana a kan wannan batu kuma ya bayyana rikicin, yana cewa:

And Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have Mercy on him) touched upon this issue and clarified the dispute, saying:

Wannan al'amari - duk da cewa mutane sun sha banban a kansa, ko dai a wani bangare ko gaba daya - gaskiyar lamarin ita ce, hada kai da mutane wani lokaci wajibi ne ko kuma abin so ne. Mutum guda kan iya zama wajibi ya hada kai da wasu a wani lokaci, kuma a wani lokacin kuma wajibi ne ya nisanta kansa daga gare su.

“This issue - even though the people have differed over it, either partially or completely - the reality of it is that mixing with the people is sometimes obligatory or recommended. The same individual can sometimes be obligated to mix with others, and can at other times be obligated to separate from them.

Hanyar daidaita tsakanin wadannan matsayai biyu ita ce fahimtar cewa haduwa, idan ta kunshi taimakon juna wajen alheri da takawa, wajiba ce, kuma idan ta kunshi taimakon juna wajen zunubi da keta iyaka, haramun ne. Haduwa da Musulmai don ayyukan ibada na jama'a, kamar sallolin farilla guda biyar, sallar Juma'a, sallar Idi, sallar kusufi, sallar neman ruwan sama (istisqa'), da sauransu, na daga abin da Allah da Manzonsa ﷺ suka umarta. Haka ma haduwa da mutane a aikin Hajji, da yakar kafirai, Khawarijawa, da 'yan tawaye, koda shugabannin irin wadannan ayyuka da mahalarta su sun lalace. Haka kuma ga taron da mai ibada zai iya karuwar imaninsa a cikinsa, ko dai saboda amfanin da yake samu daga gare shi, ko kuma saboda amfanin da yake bayarwa gare shi.

The way to properly reconcile between these two stands is to realize that mixing, if it involves cooperation upon good and piety, is obligatory, and if it involves cooperation upon sin and transgression, is forbidden. Mixing with the Muslims for the purpose of congregational acts of worship, such as the five prayers, the Friday prayer, the 'Id prayer, the eclipse prayer, the prayer for rain (istisqa'), etc., is from what Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) commanded. Such is also the case when mixing with the people during the Hajj, to fight the disbelievers, Khawarij, and rebels, even if the leaders of and participants in such activities are corrupt. This is also the case with a gathering in which the worshipper can increase his faith - either because of it benefiting him, or he benefiting it.

Kuma mutum yana buƙatar lokaci shi kaɗai don yin addu'a, ambaton Allah, salla, tunani, yin lissafin kansa, da gyara zuciyarsa. Waɗannan al'amura ne da ba wanda zai iya shiga tare da shi a cikinsu, kuma abubuwa ne da ake buƙatar kulawa da su ta hanyar mutum ɗaya, ko a gida ko a waje, kamar yadda Tawus ya ce: "Gida mafaka ce mai kyau! A cikinsa mutum yana iya kame idonsa da harshensa." Saboda haka, bai dace a gauraya da mutane ba tare da iyaka ba, kuma bai dace a ware kai daga mutane ba tare da iyaka ba. Amma game da ainihin adadin da kowane mutum yake buƙata daga kowane ɗaya daga cikin waɗannan, da abin da ya fi masa kyau a kowane lokaci, wannan abu ne da ke buƙatar ƙarin bincike.

And a person must have time alone to engage in supplication, remembrance, prayer, reflection, take himself to account, and rectify his heart. These are issues that nobody else can participate with him in, and these are affairs that need to be seen to on an individual basis, whether at home or otherwise, as Tawus said: “How excellent of a refuge is the home! In it, one can restrain his gaze and his tongue.” So, it is incorrect to mix with people unrestrictedly, and it is incorrect to seclude yourself from people unrestrictedly. As for exactly how much every person needs of each, and what is best for him at all times, this is something that requires further investigation.

Mafi kyau shi ne cewa wani lokaci mutum yakan zaɓi daga cikin nau'o'in ibada bisa ga falalarsu ta asali (salla ita ce mafi daraja a kanta fiye da karatun Alƙur'ani, karatun Alƙur'ani kuma ya fi zikiri, zikiri kuma ya fi addu'a), wani lokaci kuma bisa ga lokacin yini da yake ciki (karatu, zikiri da addu'a bayan Asuba da La'asar sun fi salla a lokacin), wani lokaci kuma bisa ga matsayin jiki da yake ciki (zikiri da addu'a a cikin ruku'u da sujada an shar'anta su maimakon karatun Alƙur'ani, zikiri da addu'a a lokacin tawafi an shar'anta su bisa ijma'i, yayin da karatun Alƙur'ani a lokacin tawafi kuwa malamai sun sabawa a kansa), wani lokaci kuma bisa ga wurin da yake (abin da aka shar'anta a Arfa, Muzdalifa, a Jamarat, da Safa da Marwa shi ne zikiri da addu'a maimakon salla, da sauransu, kuma tawafin Ɗakin Ka'aba ga baƙo ya fi salla, yayin da salla ta fi ga mazauna Makka), wani lokaci kuma bisa ga dacewar ibadar ga mutum (jihadi ga maza ya fi Hajji, jihadin mace kuwa Hajji ne, kuma biyayya ga miji ta fi biyayya ga uba ga matar aure, sabanin budurwa wadda aka umarce ta da ta yi biyayya ga ubanta), kuma wani lokaci bisa ga ikon bawa, don ibadar da yake iya yi ta fi masa ibadar da bai iya yi ba, koda kuwa abin da bai iya ba shi ne mafi falala a asali. Wannan wuri ne da mutane da yawa suke tafiya zuwa matsananciyar hanya, suna bin son zuciyarsu: wasu mutane da ke ganin wani aiki ya fi masu alheri saboda yanayin rayuwarsu, ko saboda yana da amfani ga zuciyarsu kuma hanya ce mafi dacewa ta biyayya ga Ubangijinsu, suna son su mayar da shi mafi kyawun aiki ga duk wanda ke kewaye da su, sannan su fara umartar su da yin irinsa.

What is best is that one sometimes pick from the various types of worship based on their inherent virtue (prayer is in itself better than recitation of the Qur’an, and recitation is better than dhikr, and dhikr is better than supplication), and sometimes based on what time of day he is in (recitation, dhikr, and supplication after Fajr and ‘Asr are preferred over prayer), and sometimes based on the physical position he is in (dhikr and supplication in bowing and prostration are legislated instead of recitation of the Qur’an, and dhikr and supplication during tawaf is legislated by consensus, while recitation of the Qur’an during tawaf is differed over), and sometimes based on his location (what is legislated at ‘Arafah, Muzdalifah, at the Jamar, and at Safa and Marwah is dhikr and supplication instead of prayer, etc. and tawaf of the Sacred House for the visitor is better than prayer, and prayer is better for the inhabitants of Makkah), and sometimes based on the appropriateness of the worship for the person (Jihad for men is better than Hajj, while the jihad of women is Hajj, and obedience to the husband is better than obedience to the father for the married woman, as opposed to the single woman who is commanded to obey her father), and sometimes based on the capability of the servant, as the worship he is capable of is better for him than the worship he is incapable of, even if what he is incapable of is inherently better. This is a point where many people go to extremes and follow their desires: some people who see a certain action as being better for them due to their own circumstances, or due to it being more beneficial to their heart and a better way to obey their Lord, wish to then make this the best action for everyone around them, and proceeds to command them to do the same.

Kuma Allah ya aiko Muhammad ﷺ da Littafi da Hikima, ya sanya shi rahama da shiryarwa ga bayi, yana umartar kowane mutum da abin da yake mafi alheri a gare shi. Saboda haka, Musulmi ya zama mai yi wa kowane mutum fatan alheri, yana son abin da yake mafi alheri a gare shi.112

And Allah sent Muhammad (peace be upon him) with the Book and Wisdom, and made him to be a mercy and guide for the servants, commanding each person with what is best for them. So, the Muslim should be a well-wisher to every person, wanting what is best for them.”112

Kuma malamai – Allah ya yarda da su – suna yin hulɗa da mutane suna koyar da su, a lokaci guda kuma su ne mafi kiyayewa daga ɓata lokacinsu, kuma Ahmad (Allah ya yarda da shi) shi ne mafi haƙuri a kan zama shi kaɗai, duk da cewa shi ne shugaban malamai na duniya a zamaninsa. Ɗansa, ‘Abdullah, ya ce:

And the scholars – may Allah be Pleased with them – would mix with the people and teach them while simultaneously being the most careful of people of wasting their time, and Ahmad (may Allah be Pleased with him) was the most patient of people upon being alone, despite the fact that he was the imam of the world during his time. His son, ‘Abdullah, said:

"Mahaifina ya fita zuwa Tarsus a ƙafa, ya yi Hajji sau biyu ko uku a ƙafa, kuma shi ne mafi haƙuri daga cikin mutane idan yana shi kaɗai. Bishr, duk da matsayinsa, ya kasa zama shi kaɗai, sai ya kasance koyaushe yana fita don ganin wannan mutum da wancan."113

“My father went out to Tarsus on foot, performed Hajj two or three times on foot, and he was the most patient of people upon being alone. Bishr, despite his status, was unable to remain by himself, and would always go out to see this person and that.”113

Saboda haka, bai kamata a yi mu'amala da zamantakewa da wanda zuciyarsa ta mutu ba, domin shi kamar ɗan fashi ne a hanya. Maimakon haka, ya kamata a yi mu'amala da wanda zai ƙara maka imani da aiki.

So, mixing and socialization should not be with one who has a dead heart, as he is like a highway robber. Rather, it should be with one who will increase you in faith and action.

Ibn al-Qayyim ya ce:

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

"Wanda da zuciyarsa ta mutu zai sa ka ji kaɗaici. Saboda haka, ka yi amfani da rashinsa gwargwadon iko, domin ba za ka ji kaɗaici ba sai dai idan yana tare da kai. Idan aka jarabce ka da kasancewarsa, ka ba shi kulawarka ta waje, amma zuciyarka ta kauce masa, ka raba cikinka daga gare shi, kuma kada ka bari ya shagaltar da kai daga abin da ya fi cancanta da kulawarka."

“The one with a dead heart will make you feel lonely. So, take advantage of his absence as much as possible, because you will not feel lonely except when he is with you. If you are put to trial with him, give him your outer attention, wander from him with your heart, separate your inner self from him, and do not let him distract you from what is more deserving of your attention.

Ya fi kowane asara girma ka shagaltu da wanda ba zai kawo maka komai ba sai asara a lokacinka tare da Allah - Mai girma da daraja - da kuma katsewarka daga Gare Shi, da ɓata lokacinka a kansa, da raunana kuzarinka, da watsa hankalinka. Saboda haka, idan an jarrabe ka da wannan - kuma lallai sai an jarrabe ka da shi - ka yi mu'amala da shi yadda Allah zai so, kuma ka yi haƙuri da shi gwargwadon iko. Ka matso kusa da Allah da Yardarsa ta hanyar wannan mutumin, ka mayar da zamanka tare da shi abin amfana, ba abin da zai jawo maka asara ba. Ka kasance tare da shi kamar mutum ne da yake kan hanya, sai wani mutum ya tsayar da shi, ya roƙe shi ya ɗauke shi a tafiyarsa. Ka tabbatar cewa kai ne za ka ba shi hawa, ba shi ne zai ba ka hawa ba. Idan ya ƙi, kuma babu wani amfani da za ka samu daga tafiya tare da shi, kada ka tsaya masa, ka yi masa sallama, kuma kada ma ka juya ka kalle shi, domin shi ɗan fashi ne a kan hanya, ko wanene shi a gaskiya.

Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah - the Mighty and Majestic - and being cut off from Him, wasting of your time on him, weakening of your energy, and dispersing of your attention. So, if you are tested with this - and you must be tested with this - deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Be with him as if you are a man who is on a road who was stopped by another man, who then asks you to take him on your journey. Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from traveling with him, do not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a highway robber regardless of who he really is.

"Saboda haka, ka kiyaye zuciyarka, ka yi taka-tsantsan da yadda kake kashe kwanakinka da darenka, kuma kada ka bar rana ta faɗi kafin ka isa inda za ka."114

So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your destination.”114

"Saboda haka, ya kamata dalibin ilimi ya bar zamantakewa, domin wannan yana daga cikin abubuwa mafi muhimmanci da zai iya yi, musamman dangane da mutanen jinsi na gaba, kuma musamman da waɗanda suke ciyar da mafi yawan lokacinsu cikin nishaɗi da ɗan lokacinsu cikin tunani, domin halayen wasu na iya kwace maka naka. Illolin zamantakewa sun haɗa da wucewar rayuwarka ba tare da wani amfani ba, da kuma raguwar dukiyarka da jajircewarka a addini idan wannan zamantakewar ta faru da mutanen da ba su dace ba."

“So, the student of knowledge should abandon socialization, as this is from the most crucial things that he can do, especially in regards to members of the opposite gender, and especially with those who spend most of their time in amusement and little of their time in thought, as the nature of others can rob you of your own. The harms of socialization include the passing of your life without any benefit, as well as the decline of your wealth and religious commitment if this socialization were to occur with the wrong people.

Ɗalibin ilimi bai kamata ya yi zamani sai da waɗanda zai iya amfana da su ko kuma waɗanda za su iya amfana da shi ba. Idan aka miƙa masa abokantaka da wanda zai ɓata lokacinsa tare da shi, ba zai amfane shi ba, ba zai amfana da shi ba, kuma ba zai taimaka masa wajen kaiwa ga burinsa ba, to ya kamata ya kawo ƙarshen wannan dangantaka cikin ladabi tun daga farko, kafin ta ci gaba zuwa wani abu mai zurfi, domin idan abu ya kafu, sai ya zama yana da wuyar sauyawa. Akwai wata magana da malamai suke ta maimaitawa a harshensu: "Korar abu ya fi sauƙi fiye da cire shi." Idan kuma yana buƙatar wanda zai yi abota da shi, to ya zama wannan mutum mai adalci, mai addini, mai tsoron Allah, mai taka-tsantsan, mai hankali, cike da alheri, mai ƙarancin mugunta, mai biyayya sosai, kuma mai rashin yin takaddama sau da yawa, yana tunatar da shi idan ya manta, yana haɗa kai da shi idan aka tunatar da shi, mai taimako idan yana cikin buƙata, kuma mai ta'azziya idan yana cikin wahala.115

The student of knowledge should not mix except with those who he can benefit or can benefit from. If he is offered the friendship of one who will waste his time with him, will not benefit him, will not benefit from him, and will not assist him in reaching his objective, he should politely end the relationship from the start before it progresses to something deeper, as when something becomes established, it becomes more difficult to change it. There is a phrase that is constantly on the tongues of the scholars: ‘Repelling something is easier than removing it.’ If he requires someone to befriend, let that person be righteous, religious, pious, wary, intelligent, full of benefit, having little evil, good at complying and rarely conflicting, reminding him if he forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in need, and comforting if he is in distress.”115

Ibn Qudāmah (Allah Ya yi masa rahama) ya ce:

Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:

Ka sani cewa ba kowa ne ya dace ya zama abokinka ba. Dole ne ka tabbatar cewa wannan mutumin da kake son ka yi abota da shi yana da halaye masu muhimmanci da za su sa abota da shi ta zama abin so. Wanda kake niyyar yin abota da shi dole ne ya mallaki halaye biyar:

“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify that this potential friend has the necessary characteristics that make friendship with him something to be desired. The one you seek to befriend must have five characteristics:

Dole ya zama mai hankali. Babu alheri a abokantaka da wawa, domin zai cutar da kai ko da yana son ya amfane ka. Da mai hankali muna nufin wanda yake fahimtar abubuwa yadda suke a kansu, ko kuma idan an bayyana masa su.

• He must be intelligent. There is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one he understands things as they are on his own or if they are explained to him.

Dole ne ya kasance yana da kyawawan halaye, kuma wannan abu ne mai muhimmanci. Mutum mai hankali kawai zai iya rinjayuwa da fushi ko sha'awa, har ya bi sha'awarsa. Saboda haka, babu wata fa'ida a yi abota da irin wannan mutum.

• He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him.

Bai kamata ya zama ba fasiq ba. Irin wannan mutum ba zai ji tsoron Allah ba, kuma duk wanda ba ya tsoron Allah ba za a iya amincewa da shi ba.

• He must not be a fasiq. Such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted.

Bai kamata ya zama mai bidi'a ba, domin akwai tsoron cewa bidi'arsa za ta mamaye shi.

• He must not be an innovator, as there is a fear of being overtaken by his innovation.

Bai kamata ya yi marmarin duniya ba.

• He should not be eager for the dunya.

'Umar bin al-Khattab (Allah ya yarda da shi) ya ce: "Ka manne wa 'yan'uwanka na gaskiya."

‘Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be Pleased with him) said: “Stick with your true brothers.

Za ku iya rayuwa cikin walwala tare da su, domin su abin farin ciki ne a lokutan sauƙi, kuma za ku iya dogara da su a lokutan wahala. Ku ɗauka cewa ɗan’uwanku yana da kyau har sai ya zo da wani abu da ya kamata ya tsoratar da ku daga gare shi. Ku nisanci maƙiyinku, kuma ku yi taka-tsantsan da yin abota da kowa face amintacce, kuma babu aminci ga wanda ba ya tsoron Allah. Kada ku yi abota da mai lalata, domin zai koya muku lalatarsa, kuma kada ku bayyana masa asirinku, kuma ku tuntuɓi kawai waɗanda suke tsoron Allah, Maɗaukaki.” Yahya bin Mu’adh ya ce: “Aboki shi ne wanda ba sai ka tuna masa ya tuna da kai a addu’arsa ba, kuma ba sai ka yi masa zagon ƙasa ko ka burge shi ba, kuma ba sai ka nemi afuwarsa ba.” Abu Ja’far kuma ya ce wa abokan zamansa: “Akwai wanda daga cikinku zai iya sanya hannunsa a aljihun ɗan’uwansa ya ɗauki abin da yake so?” Suka amsa: “A’a.” Ya ce: “To, ba ku ne ’yan’uwa ba kamar yadda kuke da’awa.”

You can live in comfort with them, as they are a delight in times of ease, and you can lean on them in times of hardship. Assume the best about your brother until he comes with something that should alarm you from him. Avoid your enemy, and beware of befriending anyone but the trustworthy, and there is no trust for the one who doesn’t fear Allah. Do not befriend the corrupt, as he will teach you his corruption, and do not reveal your secrets to him, and only consult those who fear Allah, the Exalted.” Yahya bin Mu’adh said: “A friend is the one who you don’t have to remind to remember you in his supplication, and that you don’t have to flatter and impress, and that you don’t have to apologize to.” And Abu Ja’far said to his companions: “Can any of you put his hand in the pocket of his brother and take what he wants?” They replied: “No.” He said: “Then you are not brothers as you claim.”

Kowannenku yana da wasu haƙƙoƙi a kan ɗan'uwansa.

And each of you has certain rights upon his brother.

Ya kamata ka biya wa ɗan'uwanka buƙatunsa, kuma wannan yana da matakai. Mafi ƙanƙanta shi ne ka biya bukatunsa da yardar rai idan kana iya, kuma ya nemi hakan daga gare ka. Mafi kyau fiye da haka shi ne ka biya su kafin ma ya nema, kuma mafi kyau fiye da duka shi ne ka ba da fifiko ga bukatunsa a kan naka.

You should fulfill his needs, and this is of levels. The least is that you gladly fulfill his needs when you are able and he asks you. Better than this is that you fulfill them before he even asks you, and better than all of this is that you put his needs before your own.

Ya kamata ka yi shiru game da shi a wasu lokuta, kuma ka yi magana a wasu lokuta. Shirun da ya kamata ka yi shi ne ka kiyaye aibunsa, a gabansa da kuma bayansa. Kada ka yi jayayya ko gardama da shi, kuma kada ka tambaye shi game da al'amuran kansa da ba ya so ya bayyana. Idan ka ga shi a wani wuri, kada ka tambaye shi inda yake zuwa, domin wataƙila ba ya so kowa ya sani. Kada ka bayyana asirinsa, ko da kuwa daga baya za ka shiga cikin rikici. Haka kuma, kada ka zagi abokansa da iyalansa, kuma kada ka sanar da shi idan wasu sun zage shi.

You should remain silent regarding him at times, and speak at times. As for your silence, you should be quiet about his faults, both in his presence and absence. You should not argue or dispute with him, and shouldn’t ask him about personal things that he wouldn’t want to reveal. If you happen to see him somewhere, don’t ask where he is going, as it might be that he doesn’t want anyone to know. Don’t reveal his secrets, even if you fall into a feud afterwards. Also, don’t insult his friends and family, and don’t inform him if others happen to insult him.

Kada ku faɗi wani abu da zai iya ɓata masa rai, sai dai idan wannan abu dole ne a faɗa, kamar umurni da kyakkyawa ko hana mugunta, domin wannan a zahiri alheri ne a gare shi.

Don’t say anything that could annoy him except if this involves something that must be said, such as commanding the good or forbidding the evil, as this would actually be a way of being good to him.

Kuma ka sani cewa ba za ka taba samun aboki wanda ya tsarkaka daga dukkan kurakurai ba. Maimakon haka, ka nemi wanda kyawawan halayensa suka fi munanan halayensa yawa. Idan ka kasance mai tsananin hukunci kan mutane fiye da yadda kake yi wa kanka hukunci, to za ka fada cikin Maganar Allah:

And know that you will never find a friend who is completely free of faults. Instead, look for someone whose good qualities outweigh his bad. Once you are stricter in judging people than you are in judging yourself, you fall into Allah’s Saying: