人们在交往与独处这个问题上历来存在很大分歧。有人主张人应当始终与众人交往，有人则主张人应当始终远离众人、独居自守，而且每一方都对自己的观点感到满意。

People have always been greatly divided over the issue of mixing and seclusion. So, some went with the opinion that one should always mix with the people, and some went with the opinion that one should always seclude himself from the people, and everyone is satisfied with his point of view.

而Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah(愿真主怜悯他)论及此问题,并厘清了其中的分歧,他说:

And Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have Mercy on him) touched upon this issue and clarified the dispute, saying:

“这个问题——尽管人们对它存在分歧，或是部分分歧，或是完全分歧——其实际情况是，与人交往有时是必需的或是值得提倡的。同一个人，有时有义务与他人交往，有时又有义务与他们隔绝。”

“This issue - even though the people have differed over it, either partially or completely - the reality of it is that mixing with the people is sometimes obligatory or recommended. The same individual can sometimes be obligated to mix with others, and can at other times be obligated to separate from them.

正确调和这两种立场的方法在于认识到:如果混同参与的是有助于善行与敬畏的事,那么它是必须的;如果参与的是有助于罪恶与逾越的事,那么它是被禁止的。与穆斯林共同参与集体的功修,如五拜、主麻拜、开斋节和宰牲节的拜、日食拜、求雨拜(istisqa')等,是安拉和祂的使者ﷺ所命令的。与人群一同参加朝觐,为对抗不信道者、哈瓦利吉派和叛乱者而战斗,也是如此,即使这些活动的领导者和参与者中有人行为败坏。在一个能使信士增进信仰的聚会中,无论是因为他从中获益,还是他对其有所助益,同样如此。

The way to properly reconcile between these two stands is to realize that mixing, if it involves cooperation upon good and piety, is obligatory, and if it involves cooperation upon sin and transgression, is forbidden. Mixing with the Muslims for the purpose of congregational acts of worship, such as the five prayers, the Friday prayer, the 'Id prayer, the eclipse prayer, the prayer for rain (istisqa'), etc., is from what Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) commanded. Such is also the case when mixing with the people during the Hajj, to fight the disbelievers, Khawarij, and rebels, even if the leaders of and participants in such activities are corrupt. This is also the case with a gathering in which the worshipper can increase his faith - either because of it benefiting him, or he benefiting it.

人还需要有独处的时间,以便从事祈祷、念诵、礼拜、思考、自我反省,并端正自己的内心。这些事情无法与他人共同完成,必须每个人单独去做,无论是在家中还是在其他地方。正如塔乌斯所说:"家是多么好的避难所啊!在家里,人可以约束自己的目光和舌头。"因此,毫无限制地与人交往是不对的,毫无限制地远离人群同样是不对的。至于每个人究竟需要多少独处与交往,以及在任何时候什么对他最为有益,这还需要进一步的探究。

And a person must have time alone to engage in supplication, remembrance, prayer, reflection, take himself to account, and rectify his heart. These are issues that nobody else can participate with him in, and these are affairs that need to be seen to on an individual basis, whether at home or otherwise, as Tawus said: “How excellent of a refuge is the home! In it, one can restrain his gaze and his tongue.” So, it is incorrect to mix with people unrestrictedly, and it is incorrect to seclude yourself from people unrestrictedly. As for exactly how much every person needs of each, and what is best for him at all times, this is something that requires further investigation.

所谓最好的做法，是人们有时依据各种功修本身的美德来选择（礼拜本身优于诵读《古兰经》，诵读优于赞念，赞念优于祈祷）；有时依据一天中的时段来选择（在晨礼与晡礼之后，诵读、赞念和祈祷优于礼拜）；有时依据所处的身体姿势来选择（在鞠躬和叩头时，立法提倡赞念和祈祷而非诵读《古兰经》；在环拜天房时，赞念和祈祷是依公议而立法的，而在环拜时诵读《古兰经》则存在分歧）；有时依据所处的地点来选择（在阿拉法特、穆兹达利法、朱maar和萨法、麦尔沃拉所立法的是赞念和祈祷而非礼拜，等等；对于朝觐者而言，环拜天房优于礼拜，而对于麦加的居民而言，礼拜更好）；有时依据功修与个人的适宜程度来选择（男子的圣战优于朝觐，而女子的圣战即是朝觐；已婚女子服从丈夫优于服从父亲，与此相对，未婚女子则被命令服从父亲）；还有时依据仆人的能力来选择，即他能够做到的功修对他而言优于他无力做到的功修，即便后者本身更为优越。在这一点上，许多人走向了极端，并顺从自己的私欲：有些人因为自身的处境，或因为某项功修对他们的心灵更有益、更能使他们顺服主，便认为这项功修对他们身边的所有人都是最好的，进而命令他们也去做同样的事情。

What is best is that one sometimes pick from the various types of worship based on their inherent virtue (prayer is in itself better than recitation of the Qur’an, and recitation is better than dhikr, and dhikr is better than supplication), and sometimes based on what time of day he is in (recitation, dhikr, and supplication after Fajr and ‘Asr are preferred over prayer), and sometimes based on the physical position he is in (dhikr and supplication in bowing and prostration are legislated instead of recitation of the Qur’an, and dhikr and supplication during tawaf is legislated by consensus, while recitation of the Qur’an during tawaf is differed over), and sometimes based on his location (what is legislated at ‘Arafah, Muzdalifah, at the Jamar, and at Safa and Marwah is dhikr and supplication instead of prayer, etc. and tawaf of the Sacred House for the visitor is better than prayer, and prayer is better for the inhabitants of Makkah), and sometimes based on the appropriateness of the worship for the person (Jihad for men is better than Hajj, while the jihad of women is Hajj, and obedience to the husband is better than obedience to the father for the married woman, as opposed to the single woman who is commanded to obey her father), and sometimes based on the capability of the servant, as the worship he is capable of is better for him than the worship he is incapable of, even if what he is incapable of is inherently better. This is a point where many people go to extremes and follow their desires: some people who see a certain action as being better for them due to their own circumstances, or due to it being more beneficial to their heart and a better way to obey their Lord, wish to then make this the best action for everyone around them, and proceeds to command them to do the same.

安拉派遣穆罕默德ﷺ携带经典与智慧，使他成为众仆人的怜悯与引导，指示每个人以对他最有益的事。因此，穆斯林应当对每一个人都怀有善意，希望他们得到最好的。112

And Allah sent Muhammad (peace be upon him) with the Book and Wisdom, and made him to be a mercy and guide for the servants, commanding each person with what is best for them. So, the Muslim should be a well-wisher to every person, wanting what is best for them.”112

学者们——愿真主喜悦他们——会与民众交往并教导他们，同时他们又是最谨慎不浪费时间的人；而艾哈迈德（愿真主喜悦他）尽管在他那个时代是世界的伊玛目，却是最能忍受独处的人。他的儿子阿卜杜拉说：

And the scholars – may Allah be Pleased with them – would mix with the people and teach them while simultaneously being the most careful of people of wasting their time, and Ahmad (may Allah be Pleased with him) was the most patient of people upon being alone, despite the fact that he was the imam of the world during his time. His son, ‘Abdullah, said:

“我的父亲徒步前往塔尔苏斯，两三次步行完成朝觐，他是所有人中最能忍耐独处的人。而比什尔尽管地位崇高，却无法独自待着，总是出门去看这个人、那个人。”113

“My father went out to Tarsus on foot, performed Hajj two or three times on foot, and he was the most patient of people upon being alone. Bishr, despite his status, was unable to remain by himself, and would always go out to see this person and that.”113

所以,与人交往、相处,不应与心已死的人为伴,因为他就像拦路的强盗。相反,应当与那些能使你的信仰和行为有所增进的人为伍。

So, mixing and socialization should not be with one who has a dead heart, as he is like a highway robber. Rather, it should be with one who will increase you in faith and action.

伊本·盖伊姆说：

Ibn al-Qayyim said:

“心死之人会让你感到孤独。因此，要尽可能利用他不在的时候，因为只有他在你身边时，你才会感到孤独。如果你不得不与他相处，就在外表上给予他应有的关注，但内心要与他疏远，把自身与他分开，不要让他分散你对更值得关注之事的注意力。”

“The one with a dead heart will make you feel lonely. So, take advantage of his absence as much as possible, because you will not feel lonely except when he is with you. If you are put to trial with him, give him your outer attention, wander from him with your heart, separate your inner self from him, and do not let him distract you from what is more deserving of your attention.

最大的损失，莫过于你被一个只会让你在与真主——至尊至大者——相处的时光中蒙受损失、使你与祂隔绝的人所牵绊，浪费你的时间在他身上，削弱你的精力，分散你的注意力。所以，如果你遇到这样的考验——你必定会遇到这样的考验——那就按照真主所喜悦的方式来对待他，并尽可能地对他保持耐心。借着这个人接近真主及其喜悦，使你与他的交往成为有益之事，而非招致损失之事。你与他相处，就像一个人在路上，被另一个人拦住，那人请求你带他同行。你要确保是你搭载他，而不是他搭载你。如果他拒绝，且与他同行毫无益处，那就不要为他停留，与他道别，甚至不要回头看他，因为无论他的真实身份如何，他都是一个拦路抢劫的强盗。

Know that the greatest of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah - the Mighty and Majestic - and being cut off from Him, wasting of your time on him, weakening of your energy, and dispersing of your attention. So, if you are tested with this - and you must be tested with this - deal with him according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible. Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person, and make your getting together with him something to benefit from, not something to incur a loss from. Be with him as if you are a man who is on a road who was stopped by another man, who then asks you to take him on your journey. Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride. If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from traveling with him, do not stop for him, bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a highway robber regardless of who he really is.

“所以，要保护好你的心，留意你如何度过你的白天与黑夜，不要让太阳落山之前还没有到达你的目的地。”114

So, save your heart, be wary of how you spend your days and nights, and do not let the Sun set before you arrive at your destination.”114

“所以，求知者应当远离社交，因为这是他最应当做到的重要事情之一，尤其是与异性的交往，特别是与那些大部分时间沉迷于娱乐、很少用于思考的人交往，因为他人的品性可能会夺走你自身的品性。社交的害处包括：使你的人生虚度而毫无益处，如果这种社交发生在不良之人身上，还会导致你的财富减少、宗教信仰衰退。”

“So, the student of knowledge should abandon socialization, as this is from the most crucial things that he can do, especially in regards to members of the opposite gender, and especially with those who spend most of their time in amusement and little of their time in thought, as the nature of others can rob you of your own. The harms of socialization include the passing of your life without any benefit, as well as the decline of your wealth and religious commitment if this socialization were to occur with the wrong people.

学子不应与那些无法从其获益、或无法使其获益的人交往。如果有人向他提出友谊，而此人会浪费他的时间，既不能使他受益，他也不能从此人身上获益，更不能帮助他实现目标，那么他应当从一开始就礼貌地结束这段关系，免得它发展成更深的交情，因为一旦关系确立，就更难改变。学者们常挂在嘴边的一句话是：“防止一件事，比消除它更容易。”如果他需要选择一位朋友，那么这个人应当是善良、虔诚、敬畏真主、谨慎、有智慧、能带来益处、少有恶行、善于顺从而很少与他发生冲突的人；他忘记时会提醒他，他被提醒时会与他合作，他有需要时会帮助他，他陷入困境时会安慰他。115

The student of knowledge should not mix except with those who he can benefit or can benefit from. If he is offered the friendship of one who will waste his time with him, will not benefit him, will not benefit from him, and will not assist him in reaching his objective, he should politely end the relationship from the start before it progresses to something deeper, as when something becomes established, it becomes more difficult to change it. There is a phrase that is constantly on the tongues of the scholars: ‘Repelling something is easier than removing it.’ If he requires someone to befriend, let that person be righteous, religious, pious, wary, intelligent, full of benefit, having little evil, good at complying and rarely conflicting, reminding him if he forgets, cooperating with him when he is reminded, helpful if he is in need, and comforting if he is in distress.”115

伊本·古达马(愿安拉怜悯他)说:

Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have Mercy on him) said:

请知道，并非每个人都适合做你的朋友。你必须确认这位潜在的朋友具备必要的品质，使与他的友谊成为值得追求的。你想要结交的人必须具备五个特点：

“Know that not everyone is suitable to be your friend. You must verify that this potential friend has the necessary characteristics that make friendship with him something to be desired. The one you seek to befriend must have five characteristics:

•他必须有才智。与愚蠢的人交友毫无益处，因为他想帮助你的时候，反而会伤害你。这里所说的有才智，是指他能够自己领会事物的真相，或者在别人向他解释之后能够理解。

• He must be intelligent. There is no good in befriending an idiot, as he will only harm you when he wants to benefit you. By intelligent, we mean one he understands things as they are on his own or if they are explained to him.

•他必须有良好的品德，这是必不可少的。一个仅仅聪明的人，可能会被愤怒或欲望所左右，并屈从于自己的欲望。因此，与这样的人交朋友是没有益处的。

• He must have good manners, and this is a must. One who is simply intelligent might be overcome by anger or desire, and obey his desire. Thus, there would be no benefit in befriending him.

他不得是法斯格（fāsiq，即犯大罪者）。这样的人不敬畏真主，而不敬畏真主者，是不可信任的。

• He must not be a fasiq. Such a person would not fear Allah, and whoever does not fear Allah cannot be trusted.

他不应是一个innovator（创新者/行新者），因为人们担心他会被自己的bid'ah（异端创新）所左右。 Wait — I must output only the Chinese translation, with no English terms. Correcting: 他不可以是一个行bid'ah（异端创新）的人，因为人们担心他会被自己的创新所左右、被其所吞没。

• He must not be an innovator, as there is a fear of being overtaken by his innovation.

他不应当贪慕今世。

• He should not be eager for the dunya.

“Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be Pleased with him) said: “Stick with your true brothers. Translation into Simplified Chinese: 欧麦尔·本·哈塔卜（愿安拉喜悦他）说：“要紧紧依附你真正的兄弟。

‘Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be Pleased with him) said: “Stick with your true brothers.

你可以与他们相处而安适自在，因为他们在顺境中是令人愉悦的伴侣，在逆境中是可以依靠的人。在你的兄弟没有做出让你警觉的事情之前，要善意地看待他。远离你的敌人，警惕与除了值得信赖的人之外的任何人交朋友，而对于不敬畏安拉的人，是不存在信任的。不要与败坏的人交朋友，因为他会把他的败坏传授给你；也不要向他透露你的秘密，只与敬畏至高无上的安拉的人商议。” 叶海亚·本·穆阿兹说：“朋友就是这样的人：你不必提醒他在祈祷中记住你，不必对他奉承讨好以给他留下印象，也不必对他道歉。” 艾布·贾法尔对他的同伴们说：“你们中有谁能把手伸进兄弟的口袋，拿走他想要的东西吗？”他们回答：“不能。”他说：“那么你们就不是你们所声称的兄弟。”

You can live in comfort with them, as they are a delight in times of ease, and you can lean on them in times of hardship. Assume the best about your brother until he comes with something that should alarm you from him. Avoid your enemy, and beware of befriending anyone but the trustworthy, and there is no trust for the one who doesn’t fear Allah. Do not befriend the corrupt, as he will teach you his corruption, and do not reveal your secrets to him, and only consult those who fear Allah, the Exalted.” Yahya bin Mu’adh said: “A friend is the one who you don’t have to remind to remember you in his supplication, and that you don’t have to flatter and impress, and that you don’t have to apologize to.” And Abu Ja’far said to his companions: “Can any of you put his hand in the pocket of his brother and take what he wants?” They replied: “No.” He said: “Then you are not brothers as you claim.”

你们每个人对兄弟都负有某些权利。

And each of you has certain rights upon his brother.

你应当满足他的需求，而这有不同的层次。最低的层次是：当你有能力且他向你请求时，你欣然满足他的需求。比这更好的是：他还未开口，你便主动满足他的需求。而最高的层次是：你把他的需求置于自己的需求之上。

You should fulfill his needs, and this is of levels. The least is that you gladly fulfill his needs when you are able and he asks you. Better than this is that you fulfill them before he even asks you, and better than all of this is that you put his needs before your own.

你应当有时保持沉默，有时开口说话。至于沉默，你应当在他当面和不在场时都不议论他的过失。你不应与他争论或争执，也不应询问他那些他不愿透露的私事。如果你碰巧在某处遇见他，不要问他要去哪里，因为他可能不希望任何人知道。即使事后你们发生了纷争，也不要泄露他的秘密。另外，不要辱骂他的朋友和家人，也不要告诉他别人辱骂他的话。

You should remain silent regarding him at times, and speak at times. As for your silence, you should be quiet about his faults, both in his presence and absence. You should not argue or dispute with him, and shouldn’t ask him about personal things that he wouldn’t want to reveal. If you happen to see him somewhere, don’t ask where he is going, as it might be that he doesn’t want anyone to know. Don’t reveal his secrets, even if you fall into a feud afterwards. Also, don’t insult his friends and family, and don’t inform him if others happen to insult him.

不要说任何可能惹他生气的话，除非这是必须说的，比如命令行善、禁止作恶，因为这实际上是对他的一种善意。

Don’t say anything that could annoy him except if this involves something that must be said, such as commanding the good or forbidding the evil, as this would actually be a way of being good to him.

要知道，你永远找不到一个毫无缺点的朋友。你应当寻找的是优点多于缺点的人。如果你对别人的要求比对自己的要求更严格，你就会落入安拉的这句经文所说的境地：

And know that you will never find a friend who is completely free of faults. Instead, look for someone whose good qualities outweigh his bad. Once you are stricter in judging people than you are in judging yourself, you fall into Allah’s Saying:

“那些从人那里量取时要求足量，而当他们给人量取或称重时却少给的人。”}116

{“Those who, when they have to receive by measure from men, demand full measure, and when they have to give by measure or weight to men, give less than their due.”}116

要知道，兄弟之间滋生仇恨与嫉妒的最大因素之一，便是毫无益处的争辩。这样的争辩除了让双方各自竭力显示自己比对方更优秀、更聪明，贬低对方等等之外，别无所获。与兄弟争辩的人，实际上是把对方说成愚蠢、低劣、疏忽和无能，而这一切都被视为贬低。这会煽动内心，使一方憎恨另一方，而这一切都与兄弟情谊的本质相违背。

And know that one of the greatest means by which hatred and envy come between two brothers is useless argumentation. This leads to nothing but each side trying to show itself as being better and smarter than the other, belittling the other, etc. And he who picks arguments with his brother has essentially made him out to be stupid, low, heedless, and incompetent, and all of this is considered belittlement. This inflames the heart and makes one person hate the other, and this is all contradictory to what brotherhood is all about.