Kwatanta "auren yara" a ƙasashe kamar Bangladesh da aure a Amurka ko Yammacin Turai — inda matsakaicin shekarun yin aure ya kai ƙarshen shekaru 20 zuwa farkon 30 — kamar kwatanta tuffa da lemu ne. Kafofin yada labarai na Yamma suna ƙoƙari sosai wajen nuna cewa yara masu shekaru 14, 15 da 16 a ƙasashen Musulmi ƙananan yara ne marasa laifi da aka tilasta musu shiga wata cibiya ba tare da son ransu ba. Kwatancen da ya dace shi ne da yara masu shekaru 14, 15 da 16 a Yamma, waɗanda saboda yanayi, ana sanya su cikin tunanin jima'i ta hanyar matsin lamba daga takwarorinsu, tasirin al'adun pop, salon sutura, ilimin jima'i, da sauransu. Ku duba irin matsin da al'adar "sexting" ke sanyawa yara, da yadda intanet da fasahar wayar salula suka canza jima'i na matasa a Yamma sosai.

Comparing “child marriage” in countries like Bangladesh to marriage in the US or Western Europe — where the average age of marriage is in the late 20s and early 30s — is comparing apples and oranges. Western media is at pains to portray 14, 15, and 16 year olds in Muslim countries as innocent little children forced into an institution against their will. The pertinent comparison to make is with Western 14, 15, and 16 years olds, who, due to circumstance, are sexualized by peer pressure, the influence of pop culture, fashion, sex education, and so on. Look at the pressure “sexting” culture puts on children and how the internet and cell phone technology have dramatically changed youth sexuality in the West.

Yana zama ruwan dare sosai yanzu ga yara 'yan shekara 12 da 13 su fara yin jima'i, kuma a Yamma ba a ganin hakan a matsayin matsala. Maimakon koyar da kamewa, masu ilimi sun yanke shawarar cewa yara na makarantar firamare da ta tsakiya suna buƙatar koyon "jima'i mai aminci." Babu wani abu da ake ƙi ga yara biyu 'yan ƙasa da shekara 18 su yi jima'i (da "kariya"), ko su yada hotunansu tsirara ta Snapchat (muddin dai sauran matasa ne kawai ke ganin hotunan), da sauransu.

It is now very common for 12 and 13 years olds to be sexually active, and that is not seen as a problem in the West. Rather than teach abstinence, educators have decided that elementary and middle school children need to learn about “safe sex.” There is nothing objectionable for two teens under 18 to have sex (with “protection”), to pass around naked pictures of themselves through snapchat (as long as it’s only other teens seeing the pictures), etc.

A haƙiƙa, yana da kyau, yana ƙarfafa mutum, kuma iyaye, makarantu da al'umma baki ɗaya ma kusan suna ƙarfafa shi. Amma idan yarinya 'yar shekara 15 ta yi aure a Bangladesh, ana ganin hakan a matsayin abin "baƙin ciki" da "fusatarwa", wato take mutuncin yarinya.

In fact, it’s healthy, empowering, and all but encouraged by parents, schools, and society at large. But if a 15-year old gets married in Bangladesh, that is a “heartbreaking,” “infuriating” violation of a girl’s dignity.

Ba matsalar cewa ƙananan amarya "ana yin lalata da ita" ba ce. In matsalar ita ce auren wuri yana hana yarinya ilimi, to wannan ma ana iya cewa game da matasan Yamma waɗanda suke yin jima'i. Nawa lokaci, ƙarfin tunani da kuɗi ne yaranmu suke kashewa a kan al'adun soyayya, haɗuwa ta ɗan lokaci, aika saƙon batsa, bikin prom, da sauransu? Kuma babu wanda yake duba duk waɗannan ta fuskar hasarar damar ilimi.

So the problem can’t be that teen brides are “sexualized.” If the problem is that getting married at a young age hinders a teen’s education, that is also something that can be said about sexually active teens here in the West. How much time, mental energy, and resources are spent by our children participating in all these cultural practices revolving around dating, hooking up, sexting, prom, and on and on? Again, no one thinks of any of that in terms of opportunity cost vis-a-vis education.

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Finally, if the problem is about coercion and consent and that these teen brides really don’t want to get married, I would simply argue that coercion is a context-dependent concept. I am sure that nowadays there are many brides in countries like Bangladesh that truly do feel miserable and coerced to have to get married at 15. But these feelings do not arise in a vacuum. They arise in context of a society that has, through the influence of satellite TV and internet, adopted Western cultural norms, norms that portray being a teenager as a time for casual dating, boyfriend/girlfriend relations, and so on. If you grow up thinking that that is what it means to be normal, free, and liberated, then of course you will have to be coerced to follow a path that diverges from that model. But if that context is absent, what is inherently wrong with getting married young? What exactly is it that makes contemporary Western norms superior? Ironically, it is precisely that context of casual sex being imported from Western sources that is scaring traditional families into wanting their children, and especially their daughters, married at a young age, whereas before, there may have been more of an allowance for education.

Ainihin batun shi ne cewa wannan lamari ne mai sarkakiya, amma kafafen yada labarai na Yamma sun fi son yada wani labari mai son kai da sauƙaƙa abubuwa, cike da hotunan amare masu "bakin ciki" da ake amfani da su don yin tasiri. Galibi rahotannin ba sa haɗa da ainihin kalaman amaren da kansu. Duk abin da muke samu yana tacewa ta fuskar ra'ayi da son zuciyar ɗan jarida na Yamma.

Point being, this is a complex issue but Western media prefers to push a highly ethnocentric, simplistic narrative punctuated with manipulative pictures of “sad” brides. Usually the media reporting does not include actual quotes from the brides themselves. Everything we get is filtered through the perspective and ideological bias of the Western reporter.

Ina so in bayyana cewa ba ni kare wa dukkan al'adun aure da ake yi a Bangladesh ko a wasu wurare ba. Manufata ita ce in nuna wasu daga cikin ma'aunai biyu da kuma kwatanta mara adalci da kafofin watsa labarai na Yamma ke yi wajen nuna al'adun da suke ganin ba su kai nasu daraja ba.

Also, to be perfectly clear, I am not defending all the cultural practices surrounding marriage in Bangladesh or wherever else. My point is to highlight some of the double standards and unfair caricaturing Western media engages in in their portrayal of cultures they believe to be inferior.