Extrasexual nima? Bu men o‘ylab topgan atama, lekin bugungi LGBT chalkashliklariga juda aloqador. Yaqinda o‘tkazilgan ilmiy tadqiqotlar odamlarning xiyonat qilishga moyilligi yoki moyil emasligi biologik jihatdan qat’iy belgilangan, deb da’vo qilmoqda. Shunga ko‘ra, xiyonatga moyillik odamlarning tug‘ma, o‘zgarmas jinsiy yo‘nalishining bir qismi, deb aytish mumkin. Bundan kelib chiqib, odamlarni shu asosda identifikatsion guruhlar yoki jamoalarga ajratish kerakmi? Masalan, xiyonat qilishga kuchliroq moyili bo‘lganlar o‘zlarini “extrasexual” deb ataydilar, qolganlar esa “intrasexual” deb ataladimi? Shunday “extrasexual” g‘urur paradlari va “extrasexual” huquqlar harakati bo‘ladimi, ular Islom va katolik maktablaridan “muqobil (aslida, ‘zinokor’) turmush tarzlariga” joy berishni va ovozi baland, faxrlanadigan xiyonatkorlarga so‘z berishni talab qilishadimi? Bu muassasalarning rad etishi “extraphobia” deb tanqid qilinadimi? Shu usulni istalgan jinsiy xulq yoki moyillik uchun takrorlash mumkin va shu tariqa diniy muassasalarga “kamsitishga qarshilik” bahonasida buyruq berib, ularni boshqarish mumkin bo‘ladi. Hatto so‘nggi paytlarda “Virtuous Pedophiles” kabi guruhlar aynan shu mantiq bilan chiqishlar qildi, bu esa LGBT o‘ziga xosliklarini tan olish va ularga moslashish talablarining qanchalik shartli va sub’ektiv ekanini ko‘rsatadi.

What is an extrasexual? Well, it’s a term I made up, but it is very relevant to the LGBT confusion we are seeing today. Recent scientific research claims that people’s inclinations or disinclinations to commit infidelity are biologically hardwired. Given this, we could say that the tendency to be unfaithful constitutes a portion of people’s inherent, immutable sexual orientation. Based on this, would there be a need to categorize people into identity groups or communities based on that? For example, would those with a greater pull to cheat self-identify as “extrasexuals” with everyone else identifying as “intrasexuals”? Would there be “extrasexual pride parades” and an “extrasexual rights movement” that would demand that Islamic and Catholic schools make space for “alternative (read, ‘adulterous’) lifestyles” and give voice to loud and proud cheaters? Would refusal by these institutions then be stigmatized as “extraphobia”?” We can duplicate this maneuver for any given sexual behavior or inclination and thereby dictate to and control religious institutions accordingly, all on the basis of “anti-discrimination.” In fact, in recent times, groups like the Virtuous Pedophiles have argued along these exact lines, which goes to show how contingent and subjective the appeals to recognize and accommodate LGBT identities really are.

Hozir ekstrasekshual huquqlar harakati yo‘q, lekin bir kun kelib paydo bo‘lishi mumkin. Nega bo‘lmasin? Ular o‘zlarini LGBT shaxslar kabi qabul qilinishga xuddi shunchalik haqli deb hisoblashlari mumkin. Keyin bu identitet guruhi, deyarli barcha dinlar va hatto ko‘pchilik dunyoviy axloq kodekslari zinoni qoralagani uchun, barcha ularni ekstrafobiyada ayblashi, nafratni yo‘q qilish uchun jiddiy o‘z-o‘zini tahlil qilishga majbur qilishi va hukumat barcha muassasalar ekstrasekshual ovozlarga yo‘l ochishi va ekstrasekshual qarashlarni hisobga olishi uchun aralashishi kerakligini talab qilishi mumkin va hokazo. “Bu musulmonlar va xristianlar qanday qilib MENGA mening hayotimni qanday yashashni aytishga JUR’AT qiladi?! Ular bilmaydimi, bu mening shunday ekanligim va baxtga HAQQIM borligini?! Ular infeksiyani gunoh deb aytish orqali qanday ruhiy ZARAR yetkazayotganini bilmaydimi?! Bu yaralar qachon bitadi?!” Ha, o‘zga jinsdagilarga nisbatan tortishish bilan og‘rigan odamlar bor, xuddi zinoga moyillik bilan yashaydigan odamlar bor. Men buni inkor etmayman va bu odamlarning o‘ziga kelayotgan istaklar ustidan tanlov imkoniga ega emasligini ham inkor etmayman. LEKIN ular bu narsadan o‘zlariga identitet yaratib, o‘zlarini shu asosda belgilashlari shart emas. Biz odamlarga istaklarni boshqarish va ularga qarshi kurashishda yordam berishimiz kerak, va haqiqatan ham, hammamiz istaklarni boshqarishda yordamga muhtojmiz, chunki bu hammaga ta’sir qiladi. Biz shunday yaratilganmiz va bu hayotdagi asosiy sinovlardan biridir.

Right now, there isn’t an extrasexual rights movement, but there could be one day. Why not? They would have as much claim to acceptance as self-identifying LGBT persons. This identity group could then claim that since pretty much every religion and even most secular codes of ethics denounce adultery that they are all extraphobic and need to do some serious soul-searching to expunge their hatred and the government needs to intervene to make sure that all institutions enable extrasexual voices and make sure to accommodate extrasexual perspectives, etc. “How DARE these Muslims and Christians tell ME how to live MY life?! Don’t they know that this is just how I am and I have a RIGHT to happiness? Don’t they know the kind of psychological HARM they are causing by saying that infidelity is sinful?! WHEN WILL THESE WOUNDS HEAL?” So, yes, there are those who suffer from same-sex attraction just like there are those who have a propensity to want to commit infidelity. I am not denying that or denying that those people have no choice in the desires that come to them. BUT they do have a choice not to create an identity out of that and define themselves according to it. We need to support people in managing and combating desires, and in all honesty, we all need support in managing desires because it is something that affects everyone. That is how we were created and that is one of the central tests in this life.