Apa itu extrasexual? Nah, itu istilah yang saya buat sendiri, tetapi sangat relevan dengan kebingungan LGBT yang kita lihat saat ini. Penelitian ilmiah terbaru mengklaim bahwa kecenderungan atau ketidakcenderungan seseorang untuk melakukan perselingkuhan bersifat bawaan secara biologis. Berdasarkan hal ini, kita bisa mengatakan bahwa kecenderungan untuk tidak setia merupakan bagian dari orientasi seksual bawaan yang melekat dan tidak dapat diubah pada diri seseorang. Atas dasar itu, apakah perlu mengelompokkan orang ke dalam kelompok atau komunitas identitas berdasarkan hal tersebut? Misalnya, apakah mereka yang memiliki dorongan lebih besar untuk berselingkuh akan mengidentifikasi diri sebagai "extrasexual", sementara yang lain mengidentifikasi diri sebagai "intrasexual"? Akankah ada "parade kebanggaan extrasexual" dan "gerakan hak extrasexual" yang menuntut agar sekolah-sekolah Islam dan Katolik memberi ruang bagi "gaya hidup alternatif (baca: 'zina')" dan memberi suara kepada para pelaku perselingkuhan yang bangga dengan perbuatannya? Apakah penolakan dari lembaga-lembaga tersebut kemudian akan distigma sebagai "extraphobia"? Manuver ini bisa kita terapkan untuk perilaku atau kecenderungan seksual apa pun, sehingga lembaga keagamaan dapat didikte dan dikendalikan sesuai dengan itu, semuanya atas nama "anti-diskriminasi." Bahkan belakangan ini, kelompok seperti Virtuous Pedophiles telah berargumen dengan cara yang persis sama, yang menunjukkan betapa kontingen dan subjektifnya tuntutan untuk mengakui dan mengakomodasi identitas LGBT.

What is an extrasexual? Well, it’s a term I made up, but it is very relevant to the LGBT confusion we are seeing today. Recent scientific research claims that people’s inclinations or disinclinations to commit infidelity are biologically hardwired. Given this, we could say that the tendency to be unfaithful constitutes a portion of people’s inherent, immutable sexual orientation. Based on this, would there be a need to categorize people into identity groups or communities based on that? For example, would those with a greater pull to cheat self-identify as “extrasexuals” with everyone else identifying as “intrasexuals”? Would there be “extrasexual pride parades” and an “extrasexual rights movement” that would demand that Islamic and Catholic schools make space for “alternative (read, ‘adulterous’) lifestyles” and give voice to loud and proud cheaters? Would refusal by these institutions then be stigmatized as “extraphobia”?” We can duplicate this maneuver for any given sexual behavior or inclination and thereby dictate to and control religious institutions accordingly, all on the basis of “anti-discrimination.” In fact, in recent times, groups like the Virtuous Pedophiles have argued along these exact lines, which goes to show how contingent and subjective the appeals to recognize and accommodate LGBT identities really are.

Right now, there isn't an extrasexual rights movement, but there could be one day. Why not? They would have as much claim to acceptance as self-identifying LGBT persons. This identity group could then claim that since pretty much every religion and even most secular codes of ethics denounce adultery, they are all extraphobic and need to do some serious soul-searching to expunge their hatred, and the government needs to intervene to make sure that all institutions enable extrasexual voices and make sure to accommodate extrasexual perspectives, etc. "How DARE these Muslims and Christians tell ME how to live MY life?! Don't they know that this is just how I am and I have a RIGHT to happiness? Don't they know the kind of psychological HARM they are causing by saying that infidelity is sinful?! WHEN WILL THESE WOUNDS HEAL?" So, yes, there are those who suffer from same-sex attraction just like there are those who have a propensity to want to commit infidelity. I am not denying that or denying that those people have no choice in the desires that come to them. BUT they do have a choice not to create an identity out of that and define themselves according to it. We need to support people in managing and combating desires, and in all honesty, we all need support in managing desires because it is something that affects everyone. That is how we were created and that is one of the central tests in this life.

Right now, there isn’t an extrasexual rights movement, but there could be one day. Why not? They would have as much claim to acceptance as self-identifying LGBT persons. This identity group could then claim that since pretty much every religion and even most secular codes of ethics denounce adultery that they are all extraphobic and need to do some serious soul-searching to expunge their hatred and the government needs to intervene to make sure that all institutions enable extrasexual voices and make sure to accommodate extrasexual perspectives, etc. “How DARE these Muslims and Christians tell ME how to live MY life?! Don’t they know that this is just how I am and I have a RIGHT to happiness? Don’t they know the kind of psychological HARM they are causing by saying that infidelity is sinful?! WHEN WILL THESE WOUNDS HEAL?” So, yes, there are those who suffer from same-sex attraction just like there are those who have a propensity to want to commit infidelity. I am not denying that or denying that those people have no choice in the desires that come to them. BUT they do have a choice not to create an identity out of that and define themselves according to it. We need to support people in managing and combating desires, and in all honesty, we all need support in managing desires because it is something that affects everyone. That is how we were created and that is one of the central tests in this life.